Life With You

2 - Wrong Move

"What's this?" tanong kong nagtataka.

"Its your new condo unit. Kinuha ko for you, you can stay there if you want to pag galing ka sa bar---"

"What do you mean?" tanong kong hindi pinatapos ang sasabihin pa niya. I felt the sudden change in my temper. I suddenly felt mad. No. Furious.

"Look Jade, I just want you to do the things you've been doing before this arranged marriage happened. Ayaw kong matali ka at makulong ka sa isang kasunduan and sacrificing the life you've been used to---"

"---what life I've beed used to?!" I almost shouted. But she didn't answer. " A wasted fv.cking night life in a bar and waking up in the morning with the same wasted guy in my bed that I just randomly met the night before?!" mataas ng boses ko nang tanong.

"That's not what I meant, Jade." kalma niyang sagot.

"That's not what you meant? Pero yon ang gusto mong iparating sa susi na ito. It's like telling me what kind of person I am that I can't live without fv.cking any guy I meet in a bar or kung saan man!"sabi ko na sa mas mataas kong boses. Ramdam ko na ang panlalabo ng mata badya ng namumuong luha.

"J-jade." kalma niyang tawag at kita ang gulat at alala sa mukha niya.

"Ganon ba kababa ang tingin mo sa akin, Althea? Dahil yon ang mga naririnig o nababasa mo, dahil yon ang reputasyon ko na alam ng maraming tao? That's what they see in me, because they see me frequent the bars, talking with guys and they'll report me as a wasted flirting model with no decency despite being the only daughter of a well respected businessman. You see me like what they see me, don't you Althea?" sunod sunod kong bitaw ng salita sa kanya, galit na ako at alam kong ramdam na yon ni Althea.

"I don't want you to feel obligated in this senseless marriage, Jade." mababang boses niyang sabi.

"You didn't answer my question, Althea. Anong tingin mo sa akin? Anong pagkakakilala mo sa akin!?"sigaw ko na.

"Jade." muli niyang tawag sa akin at umiling lang ako at hindi ko namalayang pumatak na ang luha sa mga mata ko.

"Well, that means yes. Kaya kahit anong sabihin ko I know you won't believe me. So it's useless to talk to you." sabay lapit ko sa kanya at kuha ng kamay niya at iniabot ko ang susi."Take your fv.cking key, I have my own condo to stay in if I want to. And for your information I just don't fv.ck any guy I see or meet, put that in your dirty mind. Since we got married I never engaged myself to any guy, what you saw last night was unexpected that surprised me, too. David is a good friend of mind. Or so I thought. Fv.ck him for taking advantage of me, fv.ck the people for making me look like a who.re and fv.ck myself for believing that you're different and not like them!" sunod sunod kong sabi at sabay talikod at naglakad palayo habang marahas kong pinupunasan ang mga luha ko. Pag akyat ko sa kwarto namin ay pabalibag kong sinara ang pinto at umiiyak akong humiga sa kama. Ang sakit isipin na pati siya ay naniniwala sa mga balita balita lamang. I thought she's different but I was wrong. So wrong. Bukas na bukas ay aalis na ako. Early in the morning yong hindi pa sila gising lahat. I won't go back to this place anymore. I felt like I belong in this place pero hindi pala. Aalis na ako. Aalis na ako. Paulit na kumbinsi ko sa sarili ko habang patuloy ang pagdaloy ng luha sa mga mata ko. Ilang minuto pa ang nakalipas, pero hindi pa rin ako tumitigil sa pag iyak ng maramdaman kong may nagbukas ng pinto. Hindi ako lumingon pero alam kung si Althea yon, I pretended to be sleeping.

"J-jade." tawag niya pero hindi ako gumalaw. "I don't believe what I read or heard. Sorry kung minasama mo ang ginawa ko, I'm very sorry." sabi niya ng maramdamang kong malapit na ang boses niya sa akin pero nanatili lang akong sa pwesto ko.