It Started With Hello ⇒ Camren

Thirty Five

[Lern - 11:46 p.m.]
I can still remember the way his hands felt the first time he ran them up and down my sides, under my shirt, over my breast, grabbing my butt, everywhere. I remember begging him to stop and him telling me to shut up. I remember silently crying as his chapped lips pressed against mine, kissed my neck, down my stomach.

[Lern - 11:46 p.m.]
I remember it all, but I won't go into anymore details for your sake.

[Lern - 11:47 p.m.]
After that, he told me I better not say a word to anyone and I listened. I never told a living soul. Ever. That's why Mani has no idea what I've been keeping from her for, well years now. I guess I just recently starting slipping up on my hiding act. I think it's because in high school it didn't happen as much and I distracted myself with homework so much it was easier to hide in a way.

[Lern - 11:48 p.m.]
Moving on, I was expecting it to end once we graduated. I would never have to see him again. But no. It only got worse after graduation.

[Lern - 11:49 p.m.]
Since Jai never found out about anything that he did to me, they were and still are friends. So one day when Jai was working on my house with his little crew and I, Luis showed up. I was completely shocked to say the least.

[Lern - 11:50 p.m.]
I mean I knew they were still friends, but I wasn't expecting Jai to have him come while he was working on my house. If he Jai never had him over, he probably never would've found out where I lived.

[Lern - 11:51 p.m.]
Anyways, after the house was done he'd just randomly show up. After three times of just linger around and scaring me to death, he found my spare key that I stupidly hid under my doormat.

[Lern - 11:52 p.m.]
I remember it so vividly. It was a Wednesday night and I had classes early the next day. He came in around 11 p.m and easily made his way around the house, found my room, scared me to death, and did some..other things to say the least.

[Lern - 11:53 p.m.]
Now I would've taken the key back and kept it inside the house somewhere, but he took it with him. I tried to get it back every time he came around but I never could.

[Lern - 11:53 p.m.]
So I changed the locks. I thought that would be enough to keep him out, but it clearly wasn't.

[Lern - 11:54 p.m.]
I dont know how he did it, but he got in again. He's so much smarter than I'd like to admit.

[Lern - 11:54 p.m.]
I've changed my locks a total of three times before giving up because every fucking time he gets in. It's not even worth it anymore.

[Lern - 11:55 p.m.]
So yeah, this has been going on at least once a week ever since I moved in here.

[Lern - 11:55 p.m.]
Oh, since I'm basically telling you everything: the reason I tried to stop talking to you is because, as I said, your life was in danger. He said that if anyone ever found out, he'd hurt everyone I care about.

[Lern - 11:56 p.m.]
That's the number one reason I never told Mani.

[Lern - 11:56 p.m.]
She's the closest to family I've got and the first person he'd go for.

[Lern - 11:57 p.m.]
And at first he didn't know about you. But then my phone lit up during one of our, um, "sessions" as he sometimes calls them, and your name was on the screen. He demanded I give him my phone and let him read through the messages or else bad things would happen.

[Lern - 11:57 p.m.]
As if they weren't already happening lol.

[Lern - 11:58 p.m.]
Sorry, this is serious. I know.

[Lern - 11:58 p.m.]
The reason I was crying when you came over the first night was because he had just left.

[Lern - 11:59 p.m.]
And I wasn't going to kill myself that night. I mean was I thinking about it? Kinda. I tend to think about it a lot to be honest, especially when I'm alone and feeling sad.

[Lern - 12:00 p.m.]
But I know Mani would bring me back to life and beat my ass if I ever did anything. Plus I've got Ally and Jai and the other boys.

[Lern - 12:01 a.m.]
And you.

[Lern - 12:01 a.m.]
I know we just met not to long ago, but you've helped me a lot. I feel like you care at least a little bit and I wouldn't wanna let you down by, ya know, downing a bottle of pills or something lol.

[Lern - 12:02 a.m.]
Sorry if that comes off in a joking matter. I really don't know how to deal with these kind of things without trying to turn it into humor. I'm sorry.

[Camz - 12:06 a.m.]
holy fucking shit.

[Camz - 12:06 a.m.]
i don't..holy shit

[Lern - 12:06 a.m.]
I'm sorry.

[Camz - 12:07 a.m.]
don't you dare apologize. i told you im here. i want to be here.

[Camz - 12:07 a.m.]
for you.

[Camz - 12:07 a.m.]
with you.

[Camz - 12:08 a.m.]
turn on your porch light so i dont trip please

[Lern - 12:08 a.m.]
What?

[Camz - 12:09 a.m.]
turn on your porch light so i dont trip. ill be there in fifteen

[Lern - 12:10 a.m.]
Camz it's midnight. Why are you coming over?

[Lern - 12:10 a.m.]
I'm actually a crying mess pls dont lol

[Camz - 12:11 a.m.]
i need to give you a hug. now.

[Camz - 12:11 a.m.]
dont even try to fight me on it. ill be there in fifteen.

[Lern - 12:12 a.m.]
Okay.

[Lern - 12:12 a.m.]
Drive safe please.

[Camz - 12:13 a.m.]
will do see you soon