Shepherd Of Fire

(Chapter 8)

"A new life? Together?"

"Yes. That'd make me so happy, you have no idea." Bernard looked down at his hands holding mine. "Janice, I know we've known each other for a small amount of time but...whenever you come to town, those are the highlights of my week. You make me happy and I want to be with you. I like you a lot, and not just as friends."

My face heated up. I was nervous. I didn't know what to say because, well, I didn't feel the same way. I looked away and thought about what to say.

"Bernard, I..."

"Shhh..." he said, "I just..." he sighed. "I've been wanting to do this in a long time." He closed his eyes and before I could think about what he was doing, he kissed me.

I didn't exactly kiss back. I just stood there. Once he noticed that I wasn't reacting, he pulled back. I looked at him with wide eyes.

"I'm sorry Janice." he said quickly.

"No, I..." I squeezed my eyes shut and opened them again. "I have to go." I said and headed down the small dirt road, towards Cruven's house.

"Janice wait!" I heard Bernard call, but I just ignored him.

In no time, I was some yards away from Cruven's place. I stopped to breath. What just happened? I only saw Bernard as a friend. And his offer to get me out of her? What was THAT about? Did he actually know how to get out or did he just make that up for his own reasons?

"Fuck." I muttered under my breath.

"What's eating you?" I heard a female voice ask from behind me.

I turned around, startled. It was Giana.

"Oh, it's nothing." I said.

"Does it have to do with Matt?" she asked.

"No, it doesn't. Why do you ask that?"

"I just assumed, you know, since you two live together and all..." she trailed off. I looked at her, still not understanding why she brought him up. "Look," she said, "I'm just going to be straightforward here. Are you two together, or do you have a thing going on?"

"And if we did?" I asked.

"Just answer the question, Janice."

"That's none of your business." I stated. For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to say that there wasn't anything going on between us. "Why do you care, anyways?" She glared at me and I could see a hint of jealousy in her eyes. "Oh, I know why you want to know. You like him."

"I do. I want to know who I need to get out of my way to get to him." She said with a stupid smirk.

"Good luck getting me out of your way." I said. Then, she slapped me. That's right, Giana slapped me. Across the face. And it stung like hell. It hurt so bad and I could taste the metallic taste of blood coming from my lip.

"You be quiet you little bitch!" She sneered.

My hand shot to my cheek and I stared at her. "What the fuck?!"

"You get away from him. He's mine, not yours!"

"What's going on?" I heard a familiar and comforting voice say from behind me. Matt.

I turned to look at him and I saw his eyes instantly fall on my bloody lip. He rushed towards me. "What happened to you?" He whispered as he held my face in his hands. I didn't respond and he looked at the enraged Giana from behind me. "Did you do this Giana?"

"She made me, Matt! She was-she pissed me off!" Giana screeched. I turned to look at her and saw tears spring from her eyes.

"Are you serious? You were the one getting mad at me because I wouldn't answer your stupid question." I said.

"Why wouldn't you answer it to start with?" She argued.

"Because it was none of your business and it was stupid!" I turned to look at Matt. "Can we leave?" I whispered. He nodded and grabbed my hand, leading me to our path home.

"Really, Matt? You're going to side with her?!" we ignored Giana and continued walking.

The walk was silent at first, much like the walk to town earlier today. After a while, though, Matt spoke. "What happened back there, Janice?" He asked and I could feel his eyes looking at me.

"I..." I sighed. How was I going to explain to him what happened?

"Giana...she's in love with you." I said. He didn't say anything and I looked over at him. "Did you know?" I asked.

He nodded. "It's sort of obvious she has a thing for me. She made it clear. Plus, she told me when I went with her to the market." he furrowed his eyebrows. "Is that why you two were fighting?"

"Yea, at least it had to do with it."

"What do you mean?" he asked. By now we had gotten home. We walked inside and we walked into his room. We sat on his bed and I began to explain what had happened. After I finished, there was a small silence. "Why didn't you just tell her we're just friends?" he questioned.

"I don't know." I muttered and held my face in my hands. "I never said we weren't but I didn't clarify. I guess I sort of wanted her to think we were together so she wouldn't go after you." I sighed and gathered up my courage to say what I was going to say next, "I think I didn't clarify because I want to be more than just friends with you." I said in a rushed tone.

I looked up at him with my face feeling as if it was lit on fire. Why had I just done that?! He didn't say anything, he just stared at me. I wanted him to say something but yet, I didn't. I was scared as to what he would say.

It was true, I wanted to be more than friends with Matt. I liked him, a lot. It wasn't so much that he was the only male that I'd met besides Cruven, because he wasn't. I knew Bernard and it would be much easier to be attracted to him. Matt had something to him, something I couldn't see or quite place. It was as if we had some unwritten history which I knew nothing about. But that something was there. And because of that is why I decided to do what I did next.

I kissed him.

It was sort of like what Bernard and I had been through earlier. I kissed him and he didn't react...at first. He soon reacted and kissed me back, sort of greedily, as if he had been waiting for this or he had been needing it for a long time.

He pushed me to the bed and kissed me roughly. My hands traveled under his shirt and over his strong stomach. I got a trembling feeling from touching him. He too started to put his hands under my shirt. His cold fingers made me tremble more.

Then he stopped abruptly. "No," he said sharply and in a deep voice, "I can't do this."

"Yes you can," I whispered, "just don't think about it."

I kissed him back and I felt a single tear of his touch my lips. I pulled back and looked at his sad eyes.

"Shh..." I comforted and kissed the drying tear on his cheek. My hand touched his other cheek and I felt him tremble under my touch.

He was probably like that because of his fiancé. But that didn't even cross my mind. She was in the real world. I was there, with him. And the only thing that crossed my mind was that I wanted him to make me his, in every way possible.

And he did. I completely gave myself to him and he did to me. He was cautious at first but I showed him not to be scared. After that, he had no boundaries. He was sweet, yet passionate with how he treated me and with what he whispered into my ear. I, in return, tried to make him feel loved and wanted in the way I treated him and how I softly said his name. In the end he did, in fact, make me his and I made him mine.

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Yup...

And thanks to @mikeywayfan31 for the superbly awesome cover!:D love ya sis!