He stands behind the table as the judge stares him down, waiting for his answer. He folds his hands in front of himself, takes a calming breath and speaks.
"I plead guilty your Honour."
The courtroom explodes with activity but he hears nothing, sees nothing, feels nothing but the cool embrace of the handcuffs on his wrists as he is led away. It's all over.
******
He loads and unloads the gun while wiping the glass of the car window that is constantly fogging up due to his warm breath and the cool air outside. Takes another swig of the bottle, coughs as it burns his throat and warms his body. It is one of the coldest nights of the month but he doesn't feel the biting cold. Only the biting bitterness inside, the hatred and need for revenge. He sits patiently waiting outside her house. Just like he has every night for the past 2 weeks, and just like he will continue doing so until she shows up with her lover.
He cringes as he thinks of the word. Remembers his lawyers speaking it while they attempted to come to a settlement. He feels the anger he felt all those months ago resurface. She chose that lying, conniving excuse for a doctor over him?! They had 10 good years together and he had been sober for 5 of them. He lets out a bitter laugh as he takes another swig of the bottle, not anymore.
He considers calling it a night and heading home for another dinner of cold pizza in front of the TV when he hears car tires crunching over the frozen snow. Sees headlights and ducks down as they sweep past his car. He grins in anticipation, and chugs the last bit of liquid from the bottle. Shivering as it settles in his empty stomach. He waits while they stumble up the porch steps, laughing and kissing, and opens his car door as the front door closes. He tucks the gun into his waistband and pulls up his hood. He was ready for some fun.
******
Daniel opens his eyes. Groaning as his head pounds with each breath he takes. He tries to stand up, not remembering where he is and why he's there, but slips and falls back down on what seems like hardwood. He swallows a curse as his head renews its pounding along with the ache in his back. He takes a moment to take in his surroundings and his mind goes blank as he processes what it is he is seeing.
He is sitting in a pool of red, he is no longer wearing his jacket and his shirt is soaked through. He can feel the cold metal of the gun pressing into the backs of his thighs and he reaches down to pick it up. He tries again to stand up, this time slow as not to fall again, and succeeds. His head begins to throb even more persistently, as if to stop him from going any further and seeing anything else.
He leaves the living room, the reality of what has happened slowly dawning on him. Flashes of last night come back. Waiting for his ex-wife to come home with the "doctor", and then coming in after them.
Catching them going at it in the living room, and the original plan of just scaring them fleeing his mind and being replaced with a rage so strong, thinking about it even now makes his blood boil, even with the fear beginning to cloud his mind. The doctor had tried to reason with him. His pleas had fell on deaf ears, and the voice of his ex-wife had made him even angrier, if that was possible.
The initial shock of pulling the trigger, the silencer smothering the sound of the bullet leaving its chamber, but not stopping the aftershock of firing the gun, nor the shock of seeing the bullet hit its mark, the fear and pain on the doctors face. His wife gagging as blood splattered her face and the unimaginable terror as he pointed the gun at her.
The thrill of her turning tail and running. Him chasing.
"Daniel..." she pleads as she trips at the foot of the stairs, gripping her sprained ankle. He ignores her, remembers the humiliation she put him through. She took it all. The house, the car, even the damn hamster. He lets the rage consume him, power him, and as he raises the gun to shoot one last bullet, a sense of calm comes over him...
His head throbs again, pulling him from his memories. He has reached the foot of the stairs. And what he sees proves what he remembers. A sob escapes his throat, dulling the rage as he stares at the lifeless body of the woman he once loved. He drops the gun still in his hand and kneels, ignoring the increase in the throbbing. He caresses her face. Whispers an apology.
"I'm sorry Amy. So sorry."
He closes her eyes and stands up. Knowing what he has to do. He confirms the doctor's body is in the living room, just meters from where he woke up. Closes his eyes too, though touching the body disgusts him. He shakes it off and continues.
"Yes hi. I need the police. No I'm not in trouble. Well actually, yeah I am. I murdered someone. Two someone's. Please send help."
******
"All rise! Honourable Madam Bailey presiding."
Daniel rises along with his lawyers as the judge enters the courtroom.
"The case of Regina vs Craig, your Honour."
"Thank you. You may be seated"
Daniel sits again. His knees are shaky and palms clammy. He knows what he has done and accepts it but the fear of admitting it in front of a crowd makes him nauseous.
"Daniel."
How is he going to do it?
"Daniel!"
Why is it even necessary? What if they just-
"Craig!"
He snaps back to attention as his lawyer hisses his name. "Oh. Sorry. Yeah?"
"Pay attention. Look alive."
He nods his head. His lawyer nods back, satisfied, and then stands to introduce himself and his fellow colleague.
Daniel attempts to pay attention, listening as the Crown introduces themselves and the clerk reads out the charges. He tries to look alive as opening statements are read and evidence showcased but the feeling of being suffocated in the courtroom with all these people causes him to lose focus.
He concentrates on the table in front of him. The hard ridges in the wood around the chips in the smooth surface. The rustle of the papers beside him, the occasional whisper from the crowd and the door of the courtroom closing and opening.
"Daniel Craig. You are charged with unlawfully causing the death of Amy Craig and John Bell on 2nd December 2014 and thereby committing murder in the second degree. How do you plead?"
He looks up startled as silence descends upon the court. All eyes are on him. His lawyer motions for him to stand up. He does. Gives his answer. The courtroom explodes into motion.
"Daniel Craig. You have pleaded guilty to the second degree murder of Amy Craig and John Bell. Due to the violent circumstances in which the murders were committed, I decree that you are a danger to the safety of the public. I hereby sentence you to life in prison with a no chance of parole for 15 years."
"Court is adjourned."
He hears someone sobbing. Maybe it's him. He doesn't know. He doesn't know anything anymore.
And as he is led away, as the commotion of the courtroom fades into silence, he realizes something.
He has all the time in the world to figure it out.
