"tukhamyeon geuchin maldeullo
nae mame sangcheoreul naenohgo"
Chaeyoung never imagined singing in front of a thousand people. She never imagined that tons of people would like her voice. She even made herself believe that these people were actually deaf, or were paid by her management to like her voice.
"mianhadan mal hanmadi eobsi
tto na hanja wirohago"
She couldn't believe the fact that her voice was getting her the money that she needed. She felt that everything was too good to be real - her huge house, her cool cars, the money that she's been getting these past few months. She's rich. She's rich but there is one thing that she cannot and will never get, recognition.
Sure, it wasn't that important for anyone to recognize you, to applaud you for your talent. Because in all honestly, in her opinion, all she wants is to sing, and to sing. Not to be famous, not to be known in all of Korea. She never thought about that.
"oneul harudo hoksi
nal tteonalkka neul buranhae hae
I just want you to stay"
But in the situation that she's in, its the very thing that she needed. She doesn't need money, she doesn't need her huge house and cool cars, she needed her voice. She wants her voice back.
"jigeum dangjang manheungeol baraneun ge anya
geujeo nae gyeote stay with me"
Chaeyoung heard the applauds from the crowd, and she let a tear shed from her eyes. She was hurt. She was at the backstage, looking at the girl she envied the most, stand on stage, receive the applaud, the roses, the recognition, that was supposed to be hers.
She looked at the girl, who performed various songs, that the crowd thought the girl sang, when in fact, it was her who sang it all along.
Chaeyoung left the backstage and went to her car immediately, ignoring the voices of her manager. She knew her manager would scold her for this, but its not like its a new thing anyway. She have done this many times, just leaving, no words spoken, just the echoing of her shoes that were heard whenever she runs.
She wants to leave.
She doesn't want to see the girl, who lip-synced to her voice. She doesn't want to hear the praises for her. She doesn't want to see her smiling on stage with a turned-off mic, pretending that she sang while she was on the backstage, singing her heart out yet nobody told her how beautiful her voice is.
She's had enough.
She turned on her car's engine, not sure where she would go but she drove anyway. She just wanted to leave, have her peace of mind, then go back, like she always do.
Chaeyoung sometimes think of things like, what would the management do if she won't show up? What would they do if they couldn't find her? Would they still continue the show, or make some excuses to halt it until they find her?
There were a thousand questions in her mind, that she thinks will never be answered. At times, she even plans to ruin the performance, or do some adlibs that weren't practiced at all, but then before she could even do it, her guilt has already ate her.
Chaeyoung parked her car at an abandoned town. The place looks eerie, and actually feels like someone would pop up out of nowhere in no time, but she wasn't scared. She had faced too many hideous monsters, whether it be herself or others, to be afraid of it.
Where did it all go wrong?
She walked and walked around the town, until she found herself lying under a tree, exhausted. The town surprisingly made her feel comfortable, as it was filled of trees and flowers, that are starting to wilt.
She felt like the place was her. Abandoned, full of things that are starting to wither, full of once beautiful things, that are now starting to get ruined.
Chaeyoung felt a leaf fall down at her hair, and at that very moment, all the leaves of all the other trees around her were starting to fall down as well. Then it hit her, it was autumn.
"Ah, how could I be so dumb?"
Minutes after, the place was filled of fallen leaves, that Chaeyoung couldn't help herself but play with it. She couldn't help herself but to scatter it around, to feel it, and so she let herself fall down with it, like she was a part of the fallen leaves on autumn.
Chaeyoung was literally laying down on a bed of comfy leaves, looking straight up the orange sky, nothing can be heard, except for the rustling of the leaves falling down and her steady breathing. She felt nice, for the first time in years.
She waddled her body, like she was creating some sort of a snow angel, like what she did before she left Melbourne, her hometown in Australia.
"Good times.." She whispered to the soft wind breeze.
She kept on moving her body, until she felt something.
It was a rose.
YOU ARE READING
Four Seasons + blackpink
Fanfiction|Like the sun and the moon, they end but to begin a new; like the four seasons, they pass away to return once more..| Four Seasons is a series, this is just an introduction to the members personalities as the four seasons of the year. Please d...
