To Be, or Not To Be

Chapter 4

"Kuro..." Tears streamed down my eyes as I stared at the being standing before me.

   When the Servamp pulled away, I reached out and grabbed his face. I let my eyes trailed over every part of him.

He got slimmer... the bags under his eyes were heavier too. He was pale, so sickly pale that the blood on his lips were practically glowing in contrast to his skin. He looked like he hadn't slept in decades. He looked even worse than when I first met him.

"Forty years ago, someone who looked exactly like you was born. Since we don't regain our memories until the contract is formed, he had no way of knowing..." Mikuni's voice echoed in my mind. Now that I remembered, everything made perfect sense now.

Three days... Kuro had found me three days ago. That's why my window kept opening and my pillow was littered with cat fur. Those three nights, Kuro had always been by my side—too afraid to confront me fearing that I might be another doppelganger.

He probably would've continued to avoid me too, if not for Tsubaki intervening.

"We're going to do it, big brother Mahiru." Tetsu's voice echoed as I slowly leaned forward.

"Mahiru?"

"We still haven't found out if it's going to work, but after what happened last time, we can't afford to stall it any longer."

I parted my lips and captured my Servamp's chapped ones. I closed my eyes, letting myself drown in the sensation as Kuro passionately kissed me back. Moist tongues twirled in a familiar dance like long lost lovers. Our mouths moulded hungrily against one another and our throats greedily swallowing down the other's moan.

My mind was filled with nothing but Kuro as I slowly drew my tongue back to invite him in. It was an invitation the Servamp of Sloth took immediately as he began mapping out the inside of my mouth just like I had done with him.

"Our due dates are coming again. In two months, you and I will die first."

I didn't know how long my first kiss of this life lasted for, but we eventually had to pull apart. I took a couple of breaths before I slowly leaned my forehead against his.

"I'm going to die soon." I said softly, simple and straight to the point. I felt him tense up and heard him suck in a shuddering breath. I slowly opened my eyes to meet with those crimson orbs reflecting my gaze. "I'm going to keep dying until my existence disappears. That's why Kuro, turn me into your subclass."

"Mahiru—"

"I want to be with you, Kuro!" I quickly interrupted, recognizing the fear in Kuro's dilated eyes and knowing what he was going to say. "It hurts knowing that every time I die I'm leaving you alone. If it's going to be like that, then I rather not be reborn at all. At least that way, you'd have a chance to find a new Eve and move on with your life!"

"No!" Kuro shouted. Kuro rarely ever raise his voice, but he did, pushing me back as he clasped his hands over mine that are still framing his face. "I don't need any other Eve but Mahiru... why would I do anything so troublesome that I could die?"

I chuckled bitterly at that classic response. Now that I had my memories back, I couldn't believe how I had lived so long without my partner by my side. Just the thought of spending even a day without Kuro was suffocating, let alone sixteen years.

"Ah..." I whispered out my agreement. "I want to stay by your side too... Kuro. I want to be together with you, that's why, please."

I didn't need to say anymore as I found myself pushed onto the couch with Kuro's body covering mine. The Servamp sank his fangs into my neck, tearing through the flesh almost impatiently as he drained my blood. Chains of our contract appear, but he held me tight in his arms and kept drinking.

Subclass can only be made by a deceasing human drinking the blood of the Servamp. The fact that Kuro caved in so fast despite the risk of killing me shows that there really wasn't any other options. We were both at our limit. If we want to be together, this was the only way. Kuro must've known this for a while, but he never spoke about it because of the risk it carries. If this fails, then Kuro will carry my blood on his hands for all eternity... just like with his creator—his parent.

Tears rolled down my eyes at the mere thought. I knew I was being unfair... I knew I was being selfish. It was always like this... it was always Kuro, who had to shoulder both of our burdens. It wasn't fair. I want to support and protect him as well...

I threaded one hand through his soft hair while the other stroked his back reassuringly. He tried to hide it, but I could tell he was sobbing from the small sniffs and tremors in his muscles. He kept sucking out the life fluid from my body.

"It's ok." I whispered into his ears. "It's not your fault... nothing is your fault, Kuro. I'm the one who's selfish. I'm sorry... I'm so sorry, Kuro." I repeated over and over, knowing the pain I'm causing him every passing second.

Eventually the blood loss began to affect me. My vision had gone completely black and my limbs had stopped functioning at some point. It was cold. My body couldn't stop shivering at the coldness freezing over me. The air was getting harder to breath and my heart constructed with pain. I tried to speak, but I couldn't tell if anything escaped my lips at all. The headache was tearing my brain apart and beginning to take away my ability to think. The last thing I felt was the hot fluid sliding down my throat before I lost myself to the darkness...