Wanderlust • Peter Pan

two

CHAPTER TWO

It had become a strange habit of mine in such short time. I hadn't expected the wave of addiction that gravitated me towards the well, but I welcomed it with open arms and a warm heart.

To sit just at the very edge of the well sent my heart beating faster than it should. But it excited me to know that I had control over whether I fell or not.

The shadow that had raced with me only days ago had become a regular watcher.

At first, the mere presence of it scared me. Until I realized how it longed to be observed and accepted. Now I only think of it as a piece of scenery; always there.

"Elia?" I turned to the side where Elia sat beside me on the old oak whittled bench.

I decided to bring her along today instead of the book. "Yes, Princess?"

I looked to the horizon with a sigh, for once I just wanted to meet the world with a pair of fresh eyes.

"What does water look like?" I closed my eyes waiting for the valley of beautiful words to sweep me away.

"Normal water is clear, miss." Elia began, I knew she wasn't done. "But big stretches of it, like the lake beyond your castle, reflect the sky and usually look like a translucent deep teal. "

My mouth was agape as I tried to picture the color in my mind but there wasn't any use. "But what is deep teal like?"

"I'm afraid I don't know how to describe that to you, miss." Elia frowned and that's when I knew she was done.

I stood up without hesitation. "Very well, Elia. I shall meet you back at the castle."

Elia received my message quite clearly and responded with a tidy curtsy before scampering off.

The wind blew my long black locks over my face, making it hard for me to make out the shadow.

I'd only remained in the secluded garden to study the shadow until I was ready to leave.

It hadn't moved from it's hidden spot behind the well. My feet sunk into the soft ground as I crept slowly to the shadow.

"Hello?" My voice startled it but it stayed where it was. "What are you?"

Then it moved. It almost moved too swiftly for my eyes to catch it, but I had and I followed the shadow behind the bench.

"Please, I'm begging for you to tell me what you want." I stood a meter away from it but it moved away again.

It slowly pointed to the well and then to me, before it leaped down what seemed like the bottomless pit of the well.

It reappeared by the side once more and this time it just stood with a pointed finger raised at me.

"Y-you want me to jump?" I stuttered for I was baffled by the should've been inanimate creature.

It nodded and I swallowed the hard lump of bile that had risen in my throat.

"I won't." My tone was firm and didn't waver at all.

That's all it took for the shadow to leave my side.

-

I began to believe that the shadow knew what it was gesturing about.

I needed an escape and what better way to do so than to follow a shadow down a bottomless well.

It was hard to stand in front of a man whom I did not love and reject his marriage proposal in front of my family.

My father was fuming once the word no had escaped my mouth. He wanted to control me.

"You stupid, stupid girl." Father dug his nails into my upper arm with pleasure. "Who's going to marry you now? With that handicap of yours, nobody will want you."

With fists balled and teeth clenched I stomped my foot, unladylike of me, but I didn't care. "Seeing things in black and white is more of an advantage than a handicap."

"Stop talking nonsense." Father waved me off sourly.

"It allows me to decipher between good, smart people and controlling arses like you!" I screamed at him.

I was not handicapped.

I was not handicapped.

I was not handicapped.

As if on cue, a cold hard force hit my cheek sending me flying back into the table. I whimpered as I brought my hand to it and looked around for help but there wasn't any.

We stood in an isolated kitchen, rid of the crowd of people and the company of the help. Nobody was there to aid me against father's abuse.

"You're soon to be of age and I will have no choice but to hand my kingdom over to you!" Father shouted at me and I could see that an inward war was taking place inside of his body. His body language told me everything. 

The way he held his knuckles to his head told me that he was tired of the wretched ways he had to speak to me with, but his clenched fist and his blood curdling under his grip spelled out that he was more than angry. 

I took a step back as panic flooded my body. "I cannot wed him, father. I do not love him."

"In a family like ours, love is a desire which only sets us back." Father cleared his lungs, proceeding to draw another deep breath. "You'll only learn this, even more, when you grow up."

"Well then," I stood proudly with my shoulders arched back and my head held high, "I wish I never have to grow up."

Whatever I had done, whether it be the constant twitch of my hand or my last proud sentence, was all it took for a black swirl of untouchable thick air to consume me. Every crevice of my body was heavily filled with as much blackness as possible. My head spun and I hurtled into empty space for what felt like years until I found myself tumbling onto hard, solid ground. 

It wasn't until the sting in my knees from them skidding along the floor, my hands landing on tough ground where my fingernails scraped up the tiniest amounts of dirt and my body hurtled forward so much that a salty taste seethed off my lips: did I open my eyes. 

But low and behold when I had, I never wanted my eyelashes to graze my cheek again.