More than a memory

Chapter 4

Chloe was in her bedroom trying on what must have been the tenth, or was it the eleventh top that evening. She hadn't been on a date in years, and even when she was just dating Tom it had been easy. Tom never gave her butterflies, nothing like the ones in her stomach right now as she anticipated her first date with Beca. There was always a kind of safety about going out with Tom, like he loved her no matter what so it didn't matter what she did or said, she had no reason to be nervous. As much as she liked Beca, she felt anxious about this, their first real date. They had hung out plenty of times before, and in plenty of situations that most people would probably classify as a date but never as a potential couple, and not for ten years. This wasn't like showing up to Beca's dorm to watch her mix when Jesse wasn't around, or like the times Beca showed up at her apartment just to talk in between classes. This was something a lot more nerve wracking, a lot more real, this was something Chloe was willing to change her entire life for, and therefore, it needed to be perfect.

"Hey Chloe...oh sorry, I didn't realize you were changing..." Tom stumbled over his words awkwardly as he joined Chloe in the bedroom.

"It's okay, I'm done. I've exhausted my collection of nice shirts now anyway; this one will have to do."

"I've always liked that one; it brings out your eyes."

"Thanks."

"Are you going to be out late?"

"Maybe, I guess...I'm not really sure yet. We're going to dinner."

"Okay, well, just text or something if you are going to be late. Have fun."

Chloe could tell Tom had added that last part half-heartedly, but what could she expect. She knew this was hard on him, doing this to him was hard on her too. She considered cancelling a few times throughout the week. She told herself she should wait until the divorce is final, or until Tom moves out, or until she doesn't feel so incredibly awful about tearing apart their life together. That day won't be anytime soon though, and Beca is back in her life now; who knows how long she would have stayed and waited if Chloe didn't express her interest. Chloe remembers all too well how oblivious Beca seemed to her feelings the first time around. Chloe never just came out and told her how she felt, so Beca moved on. At least that's what Chloe told herself. The possibility that Beca did know and just wasn't interested back then, well, that wasn't something the red head wanted to think about. Still though, so much confusion clouded her mind when it came to Beca and their relationship. Why now, why was Beca so willing to go out with her now but never even considered her when she was making out with Jesse all those years ago? What was different now? Other than their ages Chloe was still Chloe and Beca was still Beca.

"I'm heading out now; I'll be back later. Text me if you need anything." Aubrey had yelled this from her bedroom but stopped before reaching the front door when she saw Chloe moping on the couch.

"Have a good time Bree, I'll see you tomorrow."

"What, no Beca tonight?"

"She's hanging out with Jesse," Chloe said, clearly annoyed by the thought of that particular Treble Maker.

"You know, she'll never know how you feel if you don't tell her. Why don't you just ask her out?"

"I can't."

"You always say that, but you never have a good reason for not doing it."

"I have Tom, and she has Jesse."

"Right, Tom, your boyfriend. Where is he tonight anyway?"

"He's just out with his buddies from the baseball team."

"Out with the guys huh, and you're not there? Chloe you're more like a bro to him than anything else. Friends with benefits at its finest," the blonde scoffed.