My Baobei ❤
What I remember the most after our first night together were your eyes. Your eyes were, and still are, like the Pacific. They are vast. They are deep. They glisten like stars. Like stars in the morning.
You remember when we were starting, when we were a new couple? I was so scared. So freaking scared. I was afraid because I would look at your eyes and I’d become lost in them. Never had I become lost. No. I always knew where I was, where I stood when it came to my relationships. But with you...with you there’s no telling what’ll happen. And it’s such an exhilarating feeling. I’d never been that excited about anyone before. And I still am. You still excite me, baby. You still do. I’m excited right now as I’m typing this while watching you sleep. Lol. I’m so creepy, I know. Anyway, with you, with you I learned not to expect anything good, or anything bad. We just clicked. We just did. And we still do. Day by day, we just are. We click. And it makes me love you more and more, my cute little Submissive. Lol.
You remember those days when I get paranoid after I drop you off to school? I’d get jealous because you’re so devastatingly handsome and what was I? I was just like all the men out there. Coasting along. There was nothing special about me. Sure I got a job, a decent house, a great living, and three fecking dogs. But who was I? Really? Who was I? Surely you could do better. I knew that you could do better than me. I don’t know, baby. Maybe back then it was the fear of losing you that made me think that way. Because I did you wrong the night when we first met. Sorry, baby, I brought it up again. It’s a scar that I have. One that’s taking a while to completely heal. A sad reminder of our happy love story.
I loved you then, I love you now, and I will love you till my dying day. Lol, sorry, we were watching Moulin Rouge the other night and the song stuck with me. Lol. Oh boy, you remember how annoying I was in the beginning? When I’d tell you not to leave me because I wouldn’t know how to find my way back? God, it’s true though. When you came into my life, you were my definition of love. And you still are. My own personal dictionary defines love as your name, your smile, your laughter, your tickle wiggle shnizzle shtick, the way you moan, the way you slap me hard, your buttah lovin’, your everything.
Had we met a decade ago when I was nineteen I would’ve leaped out of bed. I would’ve told you to eat whatever leftover there was in the fridge and fix yourself up and leave. That’s how I was when I was younger. I was an arsehole, and I told you this and yet you stuck with me. I was a pathetic man with a pathetic need to satiate my needs because love I didn’t have. Love I didn’t feel. Love I couldn’t find. Love I didn’t know because every boy and man I loved treated me like how a person would a discarded piece of rag. But you, you treated me like I’m human. You were so humane. And that, baby, is true love.
I’m so glad we didn’t meet then. Oh my Buddha I’m so glad we didn’t. And besides, you were probably just ten, so no. Oh hell no. Lol. I’d be behind bars.
I’m so glad we met at the time we did. Had we not, then I would’ve missed my chance at love. I would’ve missed laughing out loud in front of the TV at whatever drama you and I are watching. Lol. I would’ve missed the quiet simpering we share in the cinemas when the movie is getting boring. I’d miss the buttah lovin’ we have. The life we have now.
I was so freaking annoying in the beginning because I knew that if something were to happen between us I would have nothing left to define love. No nothing to guide me as to how I could make it back to where I was because you’ve managed to whisk me so far, so far ahead into a world of possibilities, into a world of true love.
I remember you shushing me. You didn’t even have to speak. What you’d do is just look at me, and instantly all my fears, all my worries, all my dread, all would melt like chocolate smex. Cos there’s no fear in your eyes. What I see is equal amounts empathy and love. And in your empathic and loving gaze I found—and still find—myself loving what we have more and more, realizing that maybe my past can hurt me no longer. No more. It can’t hurt me no more.
I look at your eyes and afraid I am not. No, no longer am. Actually, I find myself wanting to get lost. Get lost in your eyes. Swim in them. Swim in our love. Because I’m so in love with you. Even now as I type this looking at you. Sleeping soundly. Breathing softly. I feel a pang in my heart. Just looking at you. Watching you breathe. Waiting on you until you wake up and say “What’s for breakfast Da Baba?” Bahaha, and I know that you know what I’d tell you in response (wink wink).
I love you, baby. I love our buttah lovin’. You know what I think, Baobei? I think we’re gonna make it ^^ so just keep holding my hand. Keep holding my gaze. And keep moaning. Lol. The future in your eyes I don’t fear no more. Because behind fear there is courage. And behind courage, there is love.
I love you, Baobei. I love you very much. I love you so much I wish you had ovaries. Kidding! Don’t slap my dingus!! EL-OH-EL!! Kidding aside, we’ll keep trying. Maybe you’ll be the first boy to conceive a child. Like what I always tell you, We never know until we try, baby. Oh yeah (fist pump...down there) ^^
I lerrrvvvs yousss...nom nom nom nom yum.
Note: Da Baba is Big Daddy in Chinese ^^
