08 | WAYS OF COPING

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REYNA NESTLES HER CHEEK against my chest

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REYNA NESTLES HER CHEEK against my chest. Bare skin brushes bare skin, gathering warmth as our limbs relax from sex and intertwine, searching for peace and relief. The musk and perfume from our bodies mingle and dance between the threads of my bedsheets. Darkness bleeds across the room, yet I still stare at the ceiling like I can make out the minuscule details of it.

This is always what she wants.

"Do you feel better?" I muffle into her hair before kissing it gently.

"Yes," comes her raspy response. She sniffs and holds me tight like I'll disappear if she lets down her guard. I return the embrace with hatred steadily boiling inside me. Fury fuels the flames in the pit of my stomach. Even though I know it helps her feel better, the mere act of using sex to erase her pain sickens me. Reyna has been seeking solace under our roof and in my arms for the duration of our relationship. Despite our efforts to keep her away from the disgusting bastard that lives in her home, the most we can do is provide ours when she needs us. "I-I hate him so much," she weeps.

My lungs constrict. "I know."

"I wish he would just go away. J-just die and leave me alone," she continues, voice hoarse under the strength of her tears.

I hold back as much as I can as moisture stings my eyes. "I know. I'm so sorry."

We lie like this for a while, following the same routine we have for months now. Reyna never fails to come to me like this, broken and terrorized because of David. She'll stay here for a few days until he demands she return home. I hate it. I hate sending her home to him knowing about everything he does. I'm useless. Young and powerless. Who's going to believe the cries of two teenagers over a man and woman in their thirties?

No one.

Reyna looks up at me in the darkness. I can imagine her eyes red and slightly swollen from crying. "I love you," she whispers.

"I love you too," I say as gently as I can despite the pain ripping my insides to insignificant shreds.

She places her fingers along my jawline and leans up to kiss the edge of my mouth. "I wish you could do something about it. I know what happened last time, but if we took a different approach..."

My heart sinks. I know exactly where this is going. "Reyna," I say her name as firm but as gently as I can, falling somewhere into a weak submission.

She leans up and presses her full mouth against mine, desperation guiding every movement. "What's the worst that could happen now? Everyone already hates us. There's nothing more that could be taken away from us."

"There's so much that can be taken away." I want to stop these thoughts before they can form. The last time she convinced me to do something reckless, it nearly ruined my life. It has ruined my life. I don't like feeling her pain like this. It hurts so much, but taking action will only hurt us even more.

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