what if.... - a twenty one pilots fanfic

part 5: the songs/the vision

(tyler's pov)

"sir. sir, are you with me?"

i suddenly snapped out of my daydream. a bubbly-looking girl with bright blue eyes was standing behind the taco bell counter, getting gradually more impatient as i hadn't answered her question. hey, i'd been knocked out by a man formed only of my insecurities, i'd been wiped from the music world completely, and my best friend didn't know who i was. i was starving.

"i said, what meat do you want with your taco?" she questioned me. i looked around at what other people were eating, to get some inspiration. "just beef, please," i whispered, almost as quiet as a mouse. i didn't care for conversation. i just wanted to get out of the past. and fast. 

"here you go, sir," the waitress handed me my taco. i mouthed a quick 'thank you' before speeding out the door. as i ran, i felt something escape the pocket of my coat, but i didn't stop to collect it. it wasn't as important as finding a way to get back home.

"hey! you dropped this!" i turned back. there was the blonde waitress, holding a small brown notebook in her hand. i couldn't just dither and expect someone to get it for me. i had to go back.

i trudged back to the restaurant and took the book from her gently. "thank you," i peered at the book, not knowing what it was or what it had in it. "your name's tyler?" she asked me. i stopped. i remembered how shocked josh had been when i knew his name, and he hadn't met me before. this was what was happening to me now. "yeah, how did you know?" i stared confused at her for a moment. "your name's on the front," she laughed. indeed the book had written on it, PROPERTY OF TYLER JOSEPH, DO NOT TOUCH. "oh, yeah," i mumbled, my cheeks flushing as i spoke. "i only noticed because my name's tyler too," she smiled. i felt relieved to know that she actually had a connection to the name, rather than being a total stalker. she flipped through the pages, although i would have preferred her not to. "these are songs!" she clapped her hands excitedly. "you write?" i took the book back from her, and saw all the songs from the first twenty one pilots album. but twenty one pilots wasn't even a thing yet. 

"yeah, occasionally," i felt my cheeks go red again. she noticed, and gave out a little cackle. "my boyfriend matty writes songs too, i understand." we smiled a little at each other, then looked away and blushed. "bye then. and thanks for the taco," i waved as i left the restaurant. she waved back, her smile not leaving her face. "see you later, tyler the lyricist."

                           ___________________________________________________

"do you want some coffee with that, honey? espresso, right?" kelly, my mom, producing two cups for two coffees: mine, and hers. "right," i gave a small grin. i took the opportunity to rifle through my songbook. there were so many songs in that book that i'd completely forgot about. trapdoor, before you start your day, isle of flightless birds...... then i stopped at one of the pages. 

"i know where you stand, silent in the trees...."

i'd started singing without even thinking about it. "what was that, tyler?" mom asked me from the kitchen. "oh, nothing, mom," i stammered, trying to cover up the fact that i was singing a song that didn't even exist yet. "was it one of your little songs?" she deposited the cups on the coffee table with a flourish. "maybe," i whispered timidly. "mom?" she looked at me intently. "yes?" she sat down in her comfy little chair, sipping her coffee calmly. i had to ask her.

"is the piano in my room still there?"

she looked confused. now i know this is bullshit, i thought to myself. my best friend may not know who i am, but i know for certain that i had a fucking piano in my room.

"oh, that old thing. yes, i suppose it is still there. your dad and i haven't had a proper clear out for years. why?" she asked me, not looking up from a magazine that was months out of date. "i dunno, i just wanted to know," i answered. the conversation trailed off. silence. 

"i'm going to the bathroom," i announced, before going up the steep stairs to my old bedroom. it was weird seeing it after so long. it felt like i hadn't left. of course i lived in my own house with jenna now, but some of my old stuff was still here. out the corner of my eye, i saw my old closet. i paced towards it, and opened it carefully. i didn't always remember to keep things tidy in there when i was a teenager.

there it was, the old piano. it had a few cobwebs around it, but nothing too serious. i cleared the dust off of it, and started playing trees.

then he came. 

"well, look what we have here. little piano boy, sitting around feeling sorry for himself."

oh shit. not this again.

"listen here, boy. i bet you're missing your small weakling of a friend and your lovely lady, right?"

i nodded anxiously, afraid of what he was going to do to me.

"i don't want to be unfair, but i don't want to see your sickening little smile. so how about i show you all the fun they're having.....without you."

i knew it would hurt. i knew it would break my heart. but i wanted to see josh and jenna again.

"that's my boy. let's see if they really care about you as much as you think."

pitch blackness.

                               ___________________________________________________

i couldn't see a thing at first. but then a blurred image began to pass through.

a bald man with a santa-type beard looked at me, breathing his foul fishy breath all over me. "he's breathing, but he's still in shock. hopefully, he'll wake up soon enough. but that's all we can do for you now." 

jenna was nowhere to be seen, but josh was at my side, crying his heart out for me. "please tell me he's going to make it, doctor. i couldn't bear to lose him." he sobbed into a soaking wet tissue, his free hand going to hold mine. "the chances of him dying is very low- at the moment. you must keep an eye on him, and make sure he takes no funny turns, or we'll have to treat him for cardiac arrest. are you related to mr joseph, by any chance? are you his brother?" josh shook his head. "i'm his best friend," he cried. santa man took notes on a clipboard, and then went to meet the rest of his medical team.

"tyler, bro. please just wake up. i've been crying myself to sleep these past few hours, wondering if you're going to be okay. jesus fucking christ, i had to try so hard not to cut. i just want you to be here with me, safe and sound. we've been getting emails and tweets all over the place, some from fans concerned about you, and a few complaints from some parents," josh gave a little chuckle through his tears. "fucking hell, tyler, the things you've put me and jenna through today. i've been worried sick about you, and jenna's actually been sick, just about half an hour ago now- but maybe that's not about you passing out. look ty, jenna's told me some really big news that she hasn't even told you yet. i wanted to keep it a secret for today, but i can't tell you unless you wake up. you can't die on us just yet, you just can't," josh started crying again. i started to cry with him. i've never seen him this upset before. "just please stay alive for me, ty. please."

"i love you."