One Day, Maybe. #NewAdult

Ch.5. Sex And Peeing On A Stick

I had smiled that night and told him that I knew exactly what he had meant, because I had felt that way too. I hadn't known at the time that the feelings were mutual, I had thought of myself alone. But having him opening up to me this way showed me how conflicted he had been, Wanting to fight the growing feelings he had for me and yet relieving in them and how free they made him.

James would be an amazing father, that I already knew because of how he was with Sebastian. And now that I had finished school and was doing what I loved as a NICU nurse even though for some time I had wanted to work as an editor at Cosmopolitan magazine with Rose, who got the job thanks to James and Frederick who were able to get two interviews at two different magazines, I was ready for that next step in my life which was my wedding and then kids.

We had talked about it vaguely a few months ago and had come to the conclusion that we both wanted kids, but that there was no rush. We weren't actively trying to have a baby, we also didn't go to the extreme to try to not get pregnant. The way James and I thought of it was simple; if it so happened that we were lucky enough to get pregnant, then be it, otherwise, we weren't really stressing about it.

I had stopped taking my birth control pills six months into the relationship and James and I, had stopped using condoms as soon as all our test results came out negative. We had an understanding of him never cheating on me ever again and he had been more than willing to agree, promising that I was the only one he had wanted and needed for a long time now.

After all of this, it had actually kind of surprised me that I hadn't gotten pregnant, since we had gotten back together almost two years ago. Granted, I knew my cycle well enough to know when it was okay or not to have sex, but I still had thought that this system would have failed way before now.

But now that it might in fact happen, now that my being pregnant was a possibility, I just didn't know what to make of it or even how to feel. To have James' child would be my greatest achievement, beside having proved that I wasn't just another statistic and that even the system had't not succeeded in making me into another product of its brokenness.

We were already a family, James and I and Sebastian, we were this great and wonderful non traditional family that was more than what I had ever dreamed for myself, but adding this child into the mix would make it whole and perfect. And the thought of that only made me want to start praying that my brain wasn't playing any tricks on me.

So, with Every second of every minute of every hour that passed, I found myself becoming increasingly excited which made the fact that I had to sit there for hours, act natural, and pretend that everything was perfectly normal when I thought I was probably going to lose my mind, had been pure hell. But yet, I had done it because there wasn't any other way.

By the time we had gotten back to the penthouse, everyone had been exausted from the long day of driving and the birthday party, which had been so much fun. The kids had an absolute blast, and the grown ups too. We've enjoyed ourselves, taken that time to have some fun right along with the kids.

Because of the fact that Frederick and Eva came to see his parents at least once every three months, they had been able to make friends with many people they had met there, so those people had been invited to join us in the celebration and they did.

We've laughed, talked, danced along to the kids' music, and truly enjoyed ourselves. And because of how far along in her pregnancy Eva was, she wouldn't be able to travel for a few months, so we took this time to also celebrate, in a very informal way, the new baby with the people at the party who wouldn't get to meet her for awhile.