Shame

Closet

Jeffrey

On the afternoon of my first  encounter with Pablo.  It  was bright and sunny. I was only in Middle School and didn't know how to express myself really. My friend Jacob and I running around the courtyard just talking and hanging until Jason came. Jacob and I seen him coming so we ran and hid. Even when we sit quietly he seeks us out, sidling up for his next power fix. His victory is a foregone conclusion, his ego boost at our expense guaranteed. He feeds off us like an aphid on new spring growth, leaving energized and buzzing as we feel drained and tense. He is our bully, but to me he is more of a parasite, boosting himself at a cost to others. He stops in front of us and says,

"What do you think you are doing here? Huh?" We didn't say a word. Quite like a mouse hoping the cat won't snatch us by our tiny tail and eat us alive.

“What you got there?” he pointed to the flower that was in Jacob's hand and tilted his hand to the side in confused on why he had a flower. But he don't take his eyes off the flower in his hand and pretend that nobody asked about it. Maybe he doesn't like his attitude because he snatches the flower from his hand and throws it away.

"I'm talking to you," he says. He still don't look at him because he's  tired of having people beating him up.

"Get up," he says pulling him and me up from the bench grabbing the hem of our t-shirt.

Now you can see tears forming in Jacob's eyes like a beautiful glistening ocean flowing over down his face. That flower meant the world to him. The daisy flower, the teardrop petals reminded him of how much he cried over this one girl he had a crush on for years he was planning on going to give to her this afternoon when school was out but Jason threw it away crushed his dreams. I wasn't going to sit there and let my friend get push and shattered into little pieces so I took a deep breath and spoke

“Hey leave him alone at least he has someone to like but no one likes you!!” I yelled at  the top of my lungs to stand up for my bestfriend. He didn't deserve this type of treatment. Plus with his dad dying and all. He had way too much on his plate and I was being a good friend and reduce the pain he had. But unfortunately this wasn't one of those fairy tale that best friend become this super cool badass and defeats the villain. I was beaten senseless or maybe that me over exaggerating.I was push on the ground, and my hand doesn't go to my face to cover my bloody nose rather they go to my back to check if my shirt has risen to reveal my scars. I had a partially ripped shirt scraped knees bloody nose and a busted lip. I was going to take another beaten until a voice from the heavens came and save my firm little ass. It was him I will never forget how he help me and a little bit of Jacob too that day.

“You're a little pussy huh” I looked around to see where it was coming from but all I can see was angel.

“Why you pick with Jeffrey and his little friend for?” He knew my name. When and how. He's so popular how can he purposely know my name. The one who save us was Pablo my childhood crush since 6th grade. I always knew I was different from the other boys who would hit on the girls and make fun and run after them. I would always look at boys well on two boys I actually had a crush on was my best friend Jacob and Pablo. Jacob he was always so nice and kind to me when everyone wouldn't really talk to me he would  and by him just being nice to me I fell for him but I know he wasn't interested because of his mad crush for avan. Yes she was beautiful and she was his type he was always a type to chase after a  girl and never gave up. When I told him about my crush on him which is the day I came out to him that I was gay. He was totally fine with it his exact  words were

“Really dude I totally take that as a comment that means I'm hot as fuck and beside your my bestfriend that not going to change our friendship I love you for being you” then he hugged me and from there our friendship was the strongest but now my mad crush is Pablo it had been for years now. Pablo was tall caramel skin beautiful manly features if he ever had a regular t shirt that was wet you can see his fineeeee ass body. Ok ok I think I'm drooling now. But how can I not, all the girls loved him and the guys. No he not your stereotypical guy  who plays sports and has the most popular girl in school. No he was openly gay and he wasn't afraid to say “I love dick”. Everyone just like him because he was so cool and real and so free and open with himself. But Now I'm a Junior in high school. Sorry if I was just rambling on about things but life's been pretty ok for me and this years I have a lot of classes with Pablo. I'm excited for this year because one more year closer to leaving this place. I'm really for anything life throws at me.  Except for public finding out that I'm in the closet.

-Shame