Just can't let her go {Punk Louis Tomlinson fanfic}

Say Something I'm Giving Up On You.~ {Chapter 15}

---2 weeks later.

I walked into school feeling like hell, having just walked to school. I politley told Zurich that I wanted to be alone. He and everyone else understood, and I told myself I would apologize after I felt a bit better. Louis continued to skip school, and I was thankful. He showed up one day- Tuesday- and asked too talk. I pretended he wasn't there. I mean I was just so damn good at that pretending bullshit I should really get a metal. He looked so broken, and I wasn't convinced it was only because of me. I felt this pang in my chest, like something else was wrong. But I refused to even say a 'hello' or an 'no'. I don't know if I regret it now, but I would rather say I don't. I was cut off by running into a wall of muscle and what smelled like cocoa. "Oh jeez, I'm sor...Elliott?" I looked up, not entirely surprised someone knows my name. I've become sort of known lately, but what surprised me was the familiarity. I looked up and saw a boy with bleach blonde hair with a black stripe down the middle, pale skin, and blue eyes. "Michael?" I asked, wondering what he was doing here. "Hey El!!" He sounded so much happier than the last time I saw him. "Got a minute?"

I sat outside in the courtyard with Mikey as we watched people scurry about, talking about things we had no interest in. It was snowing, but neither of us seemed to mind. "So what did you want to talk about Mikey?" I asked sweetly, not wanting him to be concerned with my small problems.

"Lottie's dead." He said stoically.

I blinked once. Twice. Three times. "I....I'm sorry, what?" I felt  like the words were being said by someone other than myself. I felt like I was watching the scene from above- like I was out of my body and I wasn't Ellie. "She died on Tuesday. She just kept getting worse, and then Monday night her heart started failing." I felt my heart shatter for about the millionth time this year so far and I held my head. "I figured you didn't know....so I guess that means you don't know where Lou is either?" He sighed and I looked at him with wide teary eyes. "No! I haven't...I haven't let him talk to me. W-why?" I said in a jumbled sentence, but I'm sure Mikey understood. "Well, he didn't collect his earnings from last nights fight." Michael sad, producing a few hundreds from his pants pocket.  "Wait, Lou's street fighting again?" I asked incredulously. "Yeah, Wednesday he came to me and asked to fight again." He said in a small voice, obviously a little upset he let Lou fight again. "No! No no no... dammit!!" I squeaked, letting the sobs rack through my body, feeling like knives were running through my veins and pumping through my heart. "C'mere El." Mikey said quietly, pulling me into his arms. He patted my back as I held onto him tightly, thankful for any human form of comfort right now.

"Unreal." My head snapped up and ice ran down my spine as my eyes locked with Louis'. "LOUIS!" I shouted, bolting up and stretching a hand towards him. He jerked back with such disgust you'd thought it was soaked in blood. "I can't do this Elliott." Louis' looked so broken again. I saw the exaustion, anger, frustration, and hurt surging through his eyes like rapids. He held my stare and then did the strangest thing. He smiled. It wasn't a sarcastic smile though, it was an honest to god smile. One that looked like he was really trying to smile; reassurance. I was frozen. He turned around to leave and walked like a doll that had been twisted in all the wrong ways. "LOU, WAIT! YOUR MONEY!" Mikey shot up and looked at me with a grave expression. "His fight's tonight. You know where. See you, El." And with that, Mikey ran after Louis, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again.

--Later that night--

I watched my breath cloud in front of me like a plume of smoke as I exhaled deeply. It was cold- about 20 degrees- and I was freezing. I was wearing my Doc's and a pair of jeans, but my top half was much heavier. I had on a warm black sweater, a red scarf, and a beige coat. I was still freezing though, and I further nestled my hands into my coat pockets as I jogged down the back alley of the Ram. I saw the large crowd and I sighed, pushing some of my curly hair back. "C'MON TOMLINSON!" My eyes widened and I saw Patty and Maeve holding their hands in front of their mouths screaming with grimaces. I made my way over to them and they both looked at me with sheet white faces. "No, don't look El." Patty said, grabbing y shoulder and trying to turn me away. I looked over my shoulder and I saw Louis slumped on a trash can, holding his jaw and rolling it. My eyes widened as I saw he was badly beaten and having trouble standing. "COME ON PRINCESS, NO MORE FIGHT IN YA?" It was an unknown man, most likely just another street fighter, but he was completely shredded and obviously too much for Louis to handle right now, so I did the first thing that came to my mind. I ran into the circle.

"STOP!! PLEASE, DON'T!" I shrieked, throwing my arms around Louis as the burly man stopped his fist from flying into me. "Excuse me little lady, but that's my meat." He said in an apologetic tone that didn't seem fitting for a man of his stature. "Please, he...he can't fight right now. Please don't hurt him anymore- I love him. Please." It was like a slew of verbal diarrhea I couldn't prevent and I blubbered on, stroking Louis hair back. "Ellie?..." I heard Louis grumble, finally coming into a more conscious state of mind. "Ellie, get out of the circle." Lou said more clearly and held the hand that was currently rested on his face. I looked into his eyes and bit my lip. "Not unless you come out with me." I said firmly, wiping my eyes on the shoulder of my jacket. There was a long pause as he stared at me, his brows furrowing together.

"Oi, I'm willing to let you off. Rematch tomorrow Tommo?" I heard the suff man say, clapping a hand down on my shoulder. Louis looked back at the man and nodded. "Thanks man." Louis mumbled and stood up straight, looking at me with a strange expression. I helped Lou out of the circle and led him down the alley towards where my car was parked. "Stop." He said under his breath and stopped walking. He had his eyes closed and he rolled his head back with a groan. "Are you okay? Lou, can I do anything?" I asked, pushing his hair back off of his forehead like before. "No, can you take me home?" He asked quietly, obviously avoiding eye contact as he stared to the side. "Not like this!" I protested, forcing him to walk in the direction of my car. "Come on, we're going to my house. My parents aren't home." I waited for a response but when I got none, I took it as acceptance and helped him into my car.

I unlocked my door and ushered Lou through the door, hitting the lights to light the way to my bathroom. "C'mon, in here." We walked through the bathroom door and I pulled down the first aid kit, hopping on the counter and patting my legs as invitation for him to stand between. "Don't get any ideas." I say jokingly, trying to lighten the mood a bit. "Ellie..." I heard the strain in his voice and I stopped moving, my smile feeling increasingly forced. "Why were you there tonight?" He asked shortly, taking his place between my legs and putting his hands on my knees, finally meeting my eyes. "Because I..." I didn't know how to answer. Because I was worried about him? Because I knew that when I said I never wanted to speak to him again, it was a lie? Because I knew that I craved him like a crack addict? Because the withdraws were unbearable? "Because I missed you." I finally said as I rubbed a warm washcloth over his dirty face. "You missed me?" He asked, and he sounded so open and vulnerable, I wasn't even sure it was really Louis. "Yeah." I said in a soft tone, running the rag down his cheek.

I pulled out a band-aid and put it over the small cut that was on his cheek, smoothing it out softly as I stared into his eyes. He stared back and his eyes moved between both of hers, as if looking for an answer like he always does. "Ellie....did you mean it?" His voice was so soft, I wondered if he actually asked what I thought he did. "Did I mean what?" I asked just as quiet, afraid that if I make my voice any louder, he would say 'never mind' or something along those lines. "Did you mean it when you said you loved me?" He asked and I felt his grip on my knees slightly tighten. I swallowed hard and looked away for a second. Careful. Be careful. My mind was screaming, but the words that tumbled out were unstoppable. "Yes." I said it with such emotion, I wondered if Louis heard it in my voice. I knew he did when he leaned forward and smashed his lips to mine. My eyes fluttered closed and I instinctively twirled my arms around his neck, pulling myself closer to him. I felt him sigh against my lips as he deepened the kiss, sliding his hand up and through my hair. He pulled away much too quickly for me, but it was worth it when I heard "I love you too" caress his lips, wrapping me up in a winged blanket and pulling me up to cloud 9. "I love you so fucking much, Ellie. I love you."  He said it, and I knew by the look in his eyes that he meant it. And i did too.