Alone

Melanie

Friday, Nov. 20 (2015)

Ugh, I am so DONE with Rachel. I tried to stick up for her, but she's taking the "roasts" way too far. Everyone is giving me crap for being her friend...and I know she's getting crap from everyone for even EXISTING, but I have a rep to uphold. Y'know, I am done being her friend, it is too socially embarrassing. I'll send her a text, I gotta let her know I'm sick of being her shoulder to cry on.

Ding! I sent a message to Rachel

"Rachel, it's Mel. I feel like I kinda wanna be friends with you but everyone is against you and I don't wanna embarrass myself by standing up for you. I'm sorry but I am no longer on your side. Please don't be offended. It's just a social reputation thing." 

I look back at the text and immediately wish I didn't send it, but I am glad I did. By "side", I mean...Rachel got into a fight with one of the popular girls, Kayla, and she got her clique to hate on Rachel. The rumors of her spread like wildfire, and Rachel used to be really shy but after everyone was talking shit to her, she started striking back.

Rachel was never the girl to tell someone off, but if 50 people are all roasting you at the same time, online, in school, everywhere, I guess she got to a breaking point. She's slowly slipping away from "sweet, smart student" to "edgy mean girl" and not the mean girl people like. The mean girl everyone picks on,  the mean girl who is accused - right or wrong - of starting shit. Lately, her friends have been cutting ties with her because anyone caught hanging out with her would be taking a reputation hit.

I feel bad about leaving her side when she may have needed it. To be fair, I was the only person she confided in to talk about her eating disorder and depression. We've been friends since we were ten. And, when I was little, a group of "mean girls" were telling my friends to hate on ME, so I know how it feels. But if my friends will leave me, I guess I can leave them, too.