Let's Go Back In Time--an Adam Conover Fanfiction

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"And that's why we should outlaw all mosquitos. We really should." I finished my last line. "Cut!" The director yelled, "Great one Adam. This episode is going to be a hit!"

"Oh Geoffery," I replied, "all of my episodes are hits. The power of learning is a strong one."

He looked amazed, like he had a moment of realization. "You're right." He said, as I congratulated myself on enlightening another person.

If you didn't know, I'm Adam Conover, and this is Adam Ruins Everything. JK. I just finished the episode. What I meant to say was Hi, I'm Adam Conover, and I'm a big deal. Everybody loves me because of my infinite wisdom.

I'm basically the Beyoncé of learning.

As I was saying, everyone loves me. And if you don't love me, you probably never heard of me. Which is a shame. I basically saved America, and stuff.

I have a TV show; it's called Adam Ruins Everything and every Tuesday I save the poor, lost souls of my viewers and guide them to make smart choices. I'm the light to their moth instincts.

I just ended the lastest episode of my (hit) (TV) show and was walking to my car when I was stopped by some weird dude in a suit. He stuck out his hand to try to get me to shake it. As if I, the grate Adam Conover, would shake the dirty hand of some peasant. Once he got the memo, he pulled his hand away.

"Good Afternoon, Mr. Conover." He said to me, "I'm Fuy Gieri."

I gave a hearty chuckle, "Please Fuy, Mr. Conover is my father." Another warm, wholesome chuckle. Then I gave him my serious look. All business, "You must address me as Supreme Overlord of Knowledge, O Great One Adam. That's my full title."

Fuy Gieri gave me a quizzical look, "Do people actually call you that?"

My assistant came over to us then, "I have your coffee here for you, Supreme Overlord of Knowledge, O Great One Adam, with 2 teaspoons of sugar and almond milk instead of soy."

I took the coffee from her, "Wonderful, I see you've watched my coffee episode, Josie? Thank you. What about my interviews?"

Josie said, "All pushed back to tomorrow, except for that doctor's appointment."

"Very well. Be gone with you." And then I shooed her away, "What do you want Giuy Fire?"

"It's actually Fuy Gieri."

"Sure it is!"

"I was wondering if you would be able to attend a meeting for my committee. It's called The Western Episode for Everyday Development. We deal with improvement of the community on a day-to-day basis."

"Interesting, will I get to spread my infinite wisdom?"

"Actually, myself and the rest of the WEED, that's our acronym, would like to teach you something, Mr. Conover."

"Ahem?"

"Sorry, Supreme Overlord of Knowledge, O Great One Adam."

"I don't get learned; I only make others learned."

"We were hoping you could feature some of our projects and advice in your next episode to raise awareness of weed."

"If I don't get paid, I don't do shnay. That's my way of saying shit. It's fancy and rhymes."

"Supreme Overlord of Knowledge, O Grate One Adam, we have important messages about giving to the community and selflessness."

I pondered this in my head for a while, weighing the advantages for myself. It wasn't a hard task because this didn't benefit me at all. "Sorry, but no."

"But we want to make your life better!"

"Pay me; that will make my life better."

"Oh Mr. Conover, you are making a big mistake."

"Am I? Am I really?"

"Yes, a huge."

"Whateves. Talk to the booty, cuz the hands off duty." I then proceeded to shove my butt in Fuy Gieri's face. He was disgusted.

"You've been warned, Adam!"

He then threw a smoke bomb unto the ground and disappeared! How is that possible? I was almost about to give up when I saw him, peering at me from behind a car. When we mad eye contact he gasped and ran away.

What a weird guy.