The Chasing of Moons

Mikey Finds Out

"I was wondering whether you know if Mikey's aware that he likes Pete," Frank asks.

"What?"

"Well, like, we both know that they like each other, but I'm pretty sure that Pete's unaware of that, so do you think Mikey is unaware too?" Frank asks, "Because, like, he might know after today."

"Why?" Gerard asks, "What are you planning on doing?"

"Nothing!" Frank says, although that's not quite true. If he wants to try to tell Mikey what's going on, he's going to have to read the letter that Gee wrote and if he reads that then he's going to know that he ends up with Pete. There's not much more obvious than that fact.

Frank's still not entirely positive that telling Mikey is the right thing to do. He thinks that he should probably save that information, and let their relationship bloom naturally, but at the same time, he can't help but to think that this could be a breakthrough for him. He thinks that Mikey would try harder if he knew what was at stake. Frank could be his actual future brother in law, but they've got to get him and Gerard together first before that can happen. This is all way too complicated, and Frank just wishes he could never have met Gee sometimes.

But then he remembers how his life would probably be if he hadn't met Gee in that bar. He'd never have looked twice at Gerard, and that's what really gets him. He'd never have said one word to Gerard, he'd never have met Mikey or Ray, Pete never would have met Mikey, and the very idea of it actually makes him feel sad and desperately thankful for the way that everything actually did turn out.

Even though it's been only a few days, Frank can already look back at lunch and feel a million times lonelier in those memories than when he sits with Gerard, Mikey and Ray. There's only three people fewer and yet it feels like the whole world has grown smaller. Frank's really falling too hard too quickly, and it's a shame that he hasn't even gotten Gerard to give him the time of day yet.

"You're planning something, I know you are," Gerard says, "you're very obvious about it."

"Okay, so like, basically, Mikey needs me to explain a few things to him, which I'm going to do, but in order to do that, I've got to like, give him some context and part of that context includes the reality that he's in love with Pete."

"I wouldn't say 'in love,'" Gerard says, "I mean it's not like they're going to marry each other or anything."

Frank frowns, because he's not so sure about that one at all. How does he respond to that? He can't just say, 'hey actually, they are going to get married and also so are we, you may now kiss the groom.'

"Yeah, you're totally right," Frank says, "they're not going to get married. I mean seriously, what are the odds of anybody in this school marrying the person they're dating right now?" Frank then proceeds to laugh awkwardly, turn pink, and cover his face with his hand.

"Okay then," Gerard says, doing his best to pretend that he doesn't even know that Frank's there, which would be preferable to the both of them right about now.

In the end, Frank's not very good at talking to Gerard today, because his hearts beating way too fast for his own liking, from the fear of what he's dug himself into. He's built a hole in which he's going to have to tell Mikey something. He doesn't want to, but he feels like he kind of has to and he's really just super pissed at himself for saying anything. He should've kept his mouth shut and just blamed Ray. That's what he should've done. He should have told Mikey that Ray had told him, and let Ray deal with the consequences of his lying. Except Frank's too good a person to do that and he hates himself everyday because of it.

Really, Frank never thought he would reach a time in his life where he considered himself to be more awkward than he was during puberty, but if anything parallels that, it's this.