The Chasing of Moons

To Brony Or Not To Brony

Frank wants that so bad, but if he can't even admit to his two best friends that he's gay, then he can't have any of it. If he doesn't have the nerve to tell people he knows will understand, than how could he ever expect to be with Gerard? If he's that chicken, then he doesn't even deserve Gerard.

"I've gotta say this guys, and I need you to understand how hard this is for me," Frank says, in a croak, and he eyes all the space around them to make sure no one else overhears.

"Okay, shoot, Frank. What is it?"

"It's just..." Frank drifts off, feeling someone choking him, there's hands around his neck, but when he brings his hands up to feel for them, the hands aren't there. He's only imagining it. "I've been lying to you."

"About what?"

"Th-the girl," Frank says, "that I slept with."

"You didn't sleep with someone last weekend?" Pete asks incredulously, and Frank doesn't dare look at him, for fear of what expression he will find there if he does.

"No, I did," he says. He doesn't know why his eyes are burning. It's like they're trying to cry, but he can't form actual tears and he doesn't want to cry anyway. It's his whole face in only a matter of seconds, not just his eyes, everything feels like it's on fire and burning to ashes.

"Okay?" Brendon offers a confused expression.

"I..." Frank takes a deep breath and says, "Here I go, man, ugh, I did sleep with someone on Thursday, and they were married, and I did really like them. Problem was that they weren't, a, uh, girl." Frank's voice gets progressively higher as his sentence goes on to the point where the last few words may have only been accessible to a dogs ears.

"Wait," Pete says, but Frank interrupts him.

"Guys, I'm gay."

"Well thank fuck," Pete says, "I was really worried you were going to tell us what your favorite pony was."

"Or that he thinks that Antz is better than A Bugs Life," Brendon says.

"Okay, dude, we've been over this before. Antz is far superior to A Bugs Life," Pete says.

"No it's not! It's stupid, it's not even good, the animation in A Bugs Life is better and Antz has a stupid plot."

"Okay, seriously, you're just biased, because you like Pixar better."

"Pixar is better," Brendon responds.

"Nuh-uh! You've seen How to Train Your Dragon, how can you say that Pixar is better?"

"Pixar has Finding Nemo, dude."

"DreamWorks has Shrek."

"DreamWorks has The Bee Movie," Brendon counteracts.

"Pixar has Cars 2," Pete says, and Frank honestly looks from one of them to the other, not entirely sure what just happened. He's pretty sure he just came out, but they're having a debate about movie studios and films about bugs, so, it's completely possible that he's dreaming.

"Did you two miss entirely what I just said?"

"What? No, it's just that, Frank, it's really important that Pete knows how much better A Bugs Life is," Brendon says.

"You're delusional," Pete shakes his head, "you're just a complete idiot, you can't even consider the fact that maybe Antz is better than A Bugs Life."

"It's not!"

"Oh my god, it takes me two years to come out to you guys and you can't even stop fighting about fucking bugs to even acknowledge it!" Frank asks, bewildered.

"Hey, Frank, dude, we don't care what you're into, you're still Frank. It's not a big deal who you like. Don't get me wrong, it's not like it's unimportant, but the fact of the matter is that being into dudes doesn't deserve some big gasp or anything, it's just a thing that's true about you, and it doesn't change your personality at all," Brendon says, "so, really, what is a big deal is that Pete is an idiot."

"Ugh, dick," Pete shakes his head, "but while we're at it, I'm bi, and DreamWorks is better."

"I'm bendy as fuck, and Pixar is better," Brendon says.

"It really isn't," Pete shakes his head. Frank just sighs and rolls his eyes. Honestly, he was kind of expecting this sort of reaction out of them, though he thought that maybe he would get at least one shocked face. He's not sure that that's a letdown though, because it doesn't feel like anything's changed. That's the way he wants it to be. He wants everything to just stay the same. He wants everything to be the way it was fifteen minutes ago, and it kind of does feel like that.

Frank hadn't noticed it fade, but everything seems to be back to normal. His heart rate is steady, his hands aren't clammy, his face feels regular, if a tad bit hot, but nothing is clenching in his gut the way it was before. It's like he's lifted some huge weight from his shoulders. He can feel himself breathing properly for the first time in ages, and for a minute, it's kind of nice to hear them bickering about movies. It's like nothing has changed. He's still Frank. He's the same Frank, just a little freer. Pete's still the same Pete, just a little freer. Brendon's still the same Brendon just a little Brendonier.

Frank knows that he is now going to have to face them teasing him about Gerard, because once he says it out loud, it's kind of so obvious it hurts, but he's content for now to just listen to them fighting. They are going to see through that though. He's crazy for Gerard, and that might also help them put together the pieces as to why he's so stuck on the doppelgänger in the bar. Maybe he and Pete can exchange tips about the opposite Way's though, or dubiously talk up to them about each other, but for now, everything is the way it was, and Frank grins to himself a little bit.

And suddenly, the sun beating down on him isn't as annoying as it was five minutes ago.