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Chapter 4

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Elsie sits opposite me at our old table. She's so hungry, that she hardly breathes between mouthfuls.

"Be careful, Elsie," Uncle Maurice warns, "If you eat too much you could kill yourself. That's what happened to my Uncle George, after the siege."

Elsie's big Stog eyes widen, and she drops her spoon.

"Great Uncle George was much more starved than you, Elsie," I say, shooting Uncle Maurice a look. "But be careful, you don't want to make yourself vomit." In a world already filled with horror, Uncle Maurice has every horror story you could imagine and then some. I blame him for most of my paranoia, but I guess if you've lived through all Uncle Maurice has you'd be paranoid too.

"How did you live through the siege?" Elsie asks Uncle Maurice.

"Oh, I wasn't part of the siege. I was fighting on the front lines during that time. I was far enough outside the city to not be affected, I built this cabin outside the city after that though," Uncle Maurice explains. "I know they fed the children first. Yana was a little girl at the time. Do you remember the siege, Yana?"

I nod. I try to forget it though.

I remember the hungry look in everyone's eyes and how the city of Hyland became dirty and savage. My mother died during the siege. I was six at the time, so I only remember little things about her. Her light brown hair was soft, her smiles, kind. I remember that she'd rather feed us than herself and gradually she wasted away. I can still see her gaunt, haunted face in my mind's eye. One morning Calder and I woke up and we found her before Father did. She was completely still, sitting in the old rocking chair she would read us her stories in, her sunken empty eyes staring out the window up at the sky.

I remember almost envying her, wishing my soul had flown out that window too so I could stop feeling the pain of loss and hunger.

I always wondered why Cursed King Erik didn't just barge through the gates and take everything quickly. It's as if he had to crush our hearts first. Prove to us that we were weak and defenseless, and that King Willem couldn't protect us.

"Let's not talk about the siege," I mutter, rising from the table and taking the food on my plate and transferring it to Elsie's "I'm not hungry anymore. Here, you need all the strength you can get."

"You're so kind," Elsie tells me.

"Maybe it'll be the death of me," I say bitterly. I don't cry though. I stopped crying a long time ago. Soon enough I stopped being sad for myself and replaced it with rage. "I'm going to go get the wood for the stove, Uncle Maurice."

I forget the shawl, it doesn't do me any good all wet with melted snow, and I walk outside with my axe.

*


I wake up with Elise snuggled next to me for warmth. Uncle Maurice sleeps in the loft and I sleep in the center room near the hearth. The house is always cold in the morning before someone starts a new fire. I pry myself from Elsie and get some wood.

"You screamed in your sleep," Elsie's voice.

I turn to look at her. "I sometimes do that."

"What are you going to do when Prince Raoul comes for you?" Elsie asks.

"Shh!" I hush her. I hope Uncle Maurice isn't awake to hear that.

"I'm sorry, I just--you're so kind, and you've been through so much," Elsie says, her furry brown brow furrows. "I don't want you to suffer anymore."

"What did Uncle Maurice tell you?" I ask, rolling my eyes.

"That you don't have anyone anymore," Elsie says. "You lost your family and you--you lost a boy you loved."

"You don't have anyone anymore either, Elsie," I point out.

"I have you now," Elsie says, smiling gently at me.

"What do you want to eat?" I ask her. "I've got more beets."

"You were right, I did get a stomach ache," Elsie says. "I think I'll take some hay if you have that."

"Good," I say. "And you're in luck. We keep hay in the loft. Our old sebra, Molly, can't eat it all either."

"You have a sebra?" Elsie asks. "How is that possible? I thought all the beasts of burden were taken to be used in the wars?"

"Molly is hardly a beast of burden anymore. She was Uncle Maurice's mount during the war. But she's lame in one foot and can't be ridden," I explain.

Uncle Maurice can be heard in the loft moving around. "He's awake, go up there and tell him you want some hay."

Elsie nods and skips on her hooves over to the ladder which goes up to the loft of the cabin.

My shawl is dry so I put it around my shoulders. I intend to go into the city. Every weekend I trudge into the city to hear of any news on the wars. Although I don't believe in hope, I still want to know if I'll ever see my brother and father again.

The sun is out and the fresh snow glistens in its light on the branches of the trees and from the ground. Snow is so perfect after it falls, but like all new things, it isn't long until time soils it and strips it of its beauty.

The city is only a ten-minute walk, and with the sun shining, the cold isn't as horrid as it usually is. Perhaps spring will be early this year, I muse.

As I walk alone on the snow-covered road going into town, I become lost in thought wondering why the Prince had been out in the forest in the middle of the freezing evening to come upon us in the first place. Was something happening in the forest that had caught the eye of the Cursed? Is it possible that they are planning to take huldra recruits into their war? For a long time all the Cursed had cared about were other humans, because the human race is where they'd come from.

And then I think about something else odd. It isn't as if Prince Raoul couldn't get other women to be at his beck and call, but for whatever reason, Prince Raoul, had listened to my pleas to let the doe go free when I told him I'd kiss him.

Was Prince Raoul actually attracted to me? And if so, is it possible for me to use that as a good thing rather than bad one?

I've heard rumors of a resistance forming in the city, we know so little about our Cursed rulers that any information about them, particularly information on any weaknesses they may have, is richly compensated.

You let others decide what happens to you, or you play them at their own game, no matter what it takes. That's the only way you can change what happens, I tell myself.

If that Prince does come back and wants more than just a kiss from me, this could be the window into something bigger than the sad world fate has placed me in.

Uncle Maurice would be disgusted if he knew what I was thinking. Uncle Maurice, like everyone in Hyland, believes in preserving honor and dignity, and would see these thoughts as sacrificed virtue rather than heroic.

But what if this is the only way to pave a better future? What if this is my chance to change the world?

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