Windows

Reputation

a/n: This song is beautiful. Listen to it. Now. >>>>>

Okay, I'll spill it. This is my big secret. Second biggest.

I used to be fat.

Bam. Said and done.

I know that 'fat' is such a stupid shallow word, and I'd never judge anybody else by the label, but when it's you... you don't sugarcoat it. I never referred to myself as overweight, obese, chubby, 'a bit on the large side', or any of those. I was fat. F-A-T.

That's why I got bullied. You see, bullies don't sugarcoat it either. Mum would tell me that they were just insecure, but I didn't believe her. What did they have to be insecure about? They weren't fat, like me. 

I couldn't look into their eyes and find out why, why they bullied me, because this was before Dad died, before the downward spiral. I don't know if it would have helped. I can't imagine how my life would've been if Dad didn't die and I wasn't cursed with this stupid power. And it is stupid. I can't even read minds, I just gather information from them. I don't hear people's thoughts or have visions. It's useless, really.

I just liked food as a kid. And didn't have much of the long-awaited growth spurt my parents promised. So when I didn't shoot up and get tall like the other kids, my puppy fat had nowhere to go but to gather around my belly. Then Dad died, and we moved. Mum found a crappy public school that had cigarette burns on the desk and often there was multiple fights on the field at once. I didn't learn a thing. I was too busy watching my back, and distracted by my new ability that had suddenly disrupted my life. That school lasted two weeks. Then I went to the private Catholic school, and I got depressed. I was fat, and the other girls were skinny. The nuns liked me, sure, but only because this was their debt to God or whatever. The girls made snide comments and poked me in English. It wasn't that bad, but my head was going haywire and I couldn't concentrate on what mattered and what didn't. I just wanted to be thin. 

I joined the others when they threw up in the bathroom, and refused to eat anything but salad. I excercised all the time. My dieting didn't work, and I found out that excessive vomiting can lead to acid-stained teeth, so I stopped that too. The realization that my Dad was dead and gone, and the grief that followed, was what really got me skinny. I just didn't eat anything because I was always crying and sleeping. It was unintentional, but pleased me all the same.

I'm still short though. Nothing can be done about that. Oh well. 

Anyway, enough of the Feel-Sorry-For-Haylee moment. That's over. I've got things to do.

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Finding Zac's sister was easy. Well. She found me.

I was heading towards the block of council buildings in which we reside, and I saw a slender girl staring at me intensely as I pushed open the door - which is difficult, because it's always jammed. Across the street, her eyes glistened, inviting, but then pushed me out. Blinking, I turned away from the door. She was already walking towards me.

I think she must have once been beautiful, but with the cigarette hooked between her middle and index finger I could see how she aged so quickly. She must've only be about 20, but her skin was pasty and yellowing, and wrinkles were beginning to crease at her neck. Her hair was wispy and dry, hung in dehydrated strands. Her eyes were brown, like her brother's, but I swore I saw them shift through various colors when we locked eyes across the road.

She stopped in front of me. "You must be Haylee," she said in a deep husky tone.

"Y-yes," I stuttered. She was cool and composed. I must have looked like a stupid little schoolgirl.