Again

30.

I sat at the officers desk.
"I know she is some where you guys aren't looking hard enough." Fred held my hand.
"I assure you we are doing everything we can but we also have other things we need to attend to." I snapped at that moment.
"Other things? My fifteen year old daughter who has been beaten and almost killed has run away because she thought she wasn't good enough to be my child is out there probably hungry and sick. It's been two months." I stood up and walked out of the building pulling my husband along.
"Lana we will find her." We walked to my mothers and when we got there the mail man had just placed mail in the mail box and rang the door bell. I grabbed the letters and walked into the house.
Bill, bill, cousin, me, bill, bill, magazine.
I grabbed my letter and placed the rest on the counter.
I looked at the hand writing and searched for a return address. I ran out the door and down the street to the mail man.
"Wait!" I screamed catching up to him.
"What is it ma'm if something is wrong talk to the office." He said placing mail in the mail boxes.
"No where did this letter come from?" He took the letter.
"This one came from Vermont. No return address can't help you." I took the letter back.
"Thank you!" I shouted and walked back to the house opening the letter.

Mom,
God. I have no idea when I'm going to actually send this. I know your worried out of your mind and you refuse to go back to work until I'm found. But go back to work. I don't deserve anything good in life anyways so why should I have you to be my mother? I know I should have just talked to you but I was scarred.
I need to be away for a while. Sorry for scarring the living shit out of you.
Fred's a good guy he'll take care of you until I get back in a couple months. I'm good I'm living with a friend. She's a nice old lady. I help her with the cleaning and in return she pays me. I also walk her two pit bulls. There nice dogs. Do you think we can get one so then Lola can have a friend?
Love you,
Em

I wiped the tears away from my eyes and saw Fred sitting on the front steps waiting for me.
"Emilee?" I nodded.
"For Emilee I have to go back to work." He nodded and stood up. I hugged him letting his arms envelope me. He kissed the top of my head.
"Come on let's get our things."
I told my mom to watch for Emilee and I let her read the letter. She told me to do it for my daughter.
We flew back into Canada and got back to our some what normal lives. The boys had been staying with their grandma but were now back.
"Mom when is Emilee gonna be back?" Matt asked sitting next to me. I was starring at my phone with the last picture of Emilee that I took.
"I don't know. I hope soon." Patrick and Jack came and gave a group hug.
"Keep hope mom she'll turn up."
The next couple weeks I hid my pain and let out my feelings to Fred. He held me tight when I cried and screamed for my child.

"Mom! Wake up!" I jolted up and hit my forehead against Jacks. "Ow!" He complained. I held my head and got out of bed.
"What is it?" I asked annoyed. He held up his phone. It had Emilee's contact shown. "She called you?" He nodded and handed the phone.
"Hey mom." "Emilee oh my god." I started crying. "I'm at the airport do you want to come get me?" "You don't even have to ask I'll be there in a minute. I love you so very much Emilee." "I love you to mom." She was crying on the other end. I hung up and grabbed a hoodie and slipped on my slippers and grabbed my keys.
"Where are you going?" Fred asked half asleep.
"I'm going to get Emilee from the airport." He sat up.
"I'm coming with you." I shook my head.
"No I need to talk to her and she won't talk back if someone else is with me." He nodded and laid back down. I gave Jack his phone and sent him back to bed.

I pulled up to the airport and got out. I looked around but didn't see her. I walked to the front doors before I saw someone sitting on the bench next to them.
"Excuse me." I said walking to them.
They looked up and I started crying all over again. I pulled her up and hugged her so tight that I thought I might break her.
She cried harder than I've ever seen her cry.
"Please forgive me mom. I'm so sorry. Please-"
"Sh sh sh. I'm here. I have you. Don't do that again please I love you more than you can comprehend." We stood there for a good fifteen minutes just hugging and sobbing.
I picked up her back pack and placed it in the back seat. She was wearing boy skinny jeans and a black hoodie that said Kansas on it.
"You dressed up as a boy didn't you?" I asked opening the passenger seat for her to get in. She nodded slightly before getting in.
As we were driving back to the house she grabbed my hand and held it tight.