If I Lose Myself

Chapter Four: Draco

Narcissa's eyes bulged fearfully. But her fear dissipated when she shoved Bellatrix's wand out of the way then walked over towards the fire place. There was a small silence in the room before his mother finally spoke. "Surely you wouldn't murder my son."

"No, I wouldn't," Bellatrix answered almost instantly. He accidentally met his aunt's gaze and could have sworn he saw a flicker of concern in them. But her pupils dilated and her cold, harsh front resurfaced. "I'm doing this against the Dark Lord's wishes, Cissy. You know he wants nothing more than to check on Draco's progress on his mission. Be grateful he hasn't had the idea of doing so. And if I am to be found—"

"Then I suppose you'll have to keep your mouth shut while you're around him, then." His mother's clipped voice overlapped. She turned to look at him and his aunt, her eyes now glistening with tears. "Bella, please. I've lost Lucius. I cannot lose Draco as well. He's punishing us. Me. My son. I can't bear it. It would kill me."

"Then your ridiculous excuse for a husband should have thought better than to fail his own mission—"

"Don't you dare talk about my husband like that!" Narcissa finally drew out her wand, but to Draco's surprise, his aunt had lowered her own. "You could have helped him!"

"It was not my mission now, was it, Narcissa?!" Bellatrix fired back. "He should have bloody thought differently when he decided years ago to be a Death Eater—"

"That's enough!" To his surprise, Draco found his own voice as he rose from where he sat. His headache was now subsiding, though it had its troubles with the argument circulating within the room. And within that particular argument, he found a new purpose. He didn't exactly know where it came from, but it definitely had something to do with his father. He wanted him out of Azkaban perhaps a whole lot more than his mother did; and the only way to do that was to bloody master Occlumency and succeed in his own mission.

The two witches stared at him oddly, almost looking as if they've forgotten he was even in the room.

"I'm ready now." His tongue felt like lead as he said this, trailing his eyes towards Bellatrix.

"Draco, darling..." Narcissa's voice trailed off softly, wiping the harsh tears that were sliding down her cheeks.

Draco tried to ignore the vulnerability in his mother's voice and the ache to pull her in and hold her close as he did the night his father was sent to Azkaban. His voice sounded raspier now as he continued, "I think I can do it now, Aunt Bella."

Bellatrix's current sneer turned into a malicious smirk as she walked over to him and pushed him down onto the chair again. He held the arms of the chair tightly as soon as his aunt raised her bendy wand towards his forehead. A part of him was shaking horridly, fearful of how far his aunt would go down his mind. But another part of him was writhing in pride and excitement at his newly found purpose. He braced himself for the impact as his aunt yelled, "Legilimens!"

A sharp, most unbearable pain hit his head; spreading throughout his entire body as flashes of his memories unfolded.

His father teaching him how to ride a broom, his first vacation at the Canary's with his parents when he was fourteen, getting his first wand at Ollivander's, receiving constant candies and sweets from his mother every time he went back to Hogwarts, days of insulting Potter and succeeding gratefully, nearly catching the Snitch during Quidditch, his first kiss with Pansy Parkinson. Then suddenly, his memories shifted; it turned to the time he lost his first Quidditch match and being told off by Marcus Flint, being slapped by Granger so hard his head spun, being turned into a ferret by Mad-Eye Moody, seeing his father get dragged away from him by Aurors and dementors...