Hidden // Spencer Reid

Mistakes

"He didn't just say what I think he did, did he?" -Eminem
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At night, Garcia calls back, knowing I'd be awake. When the nurse comes in, I smile at her, and say, "Can I just keep a cellphone in here?"

She shrugs her shoulders. "I'll see what I can do, darlin'."

Which probably means nothing.

"Hello?"

"I figured you'd be awake," she praises herself, and I can imagine her proud smile.

"Well, you figured right, okay?" I sigh, shifting uncomfortably on the small mattress.

"Lena, why won't you just tell me?" Penelope whines, and I roll my eyes.

"If it matters to you that much, I'm sorry for you."

"Or I could tell everyone about your.. past?" She hints, and instantly I feel a rock on my stomach again. I wouldn't have guessed an FBI agent would blackmail someone.

"Some people just like other people," I tell her. "Do I really have to explain my relationships to you?"

"Well, you did end up cheating on him. So, it seems pretty interesting to me," she says innocently. I wince at the word cheat.

I hated to hang up on her again, but I did it anyway. I just wish everything weren't so confusing. The fact that I'm being hospitalized is only half as bad as the fact that I'm pregnant and my first thought was who the father was. I feel like a disgusting human being, and I don't think that feeling will ever go away, with or without Spencer or Derek.

I call the nurse back. She's probably wishing she never took this job. "Lena?" She responds, shuffling in and checking all my medical equipment.

"Hi. Can you maybe get me some sleeping pills? I don't know, NyQuil or just some melatonin or something. I'm having trouble falling asleep."

To my great surprise, she nods and leaves, returning with a couple pills and a plastic cup of water. "Just some melatonin," she verifies. I thank her and consume the pills.

About half an hour into swallowing the pills, my eyelids become heavy.

..

Spencer stares at me with wide eyes. I step further out onto the balcony. "Lena, no! Please! Everything will be okay!"

"I ruined everything," I hear myself say, though I don't recall opening my mouth. "I need to just end it."

"What about your future, Lena?" Spencer yells from below.

Without stopping, I swing myself over the edge of the balcony and wait-- because I know Derek will eventually come and push me over the edge.

"You don't have to do this, Lena," he cries, and I shake my head. I know I have to do this. It always ends the same.

I shut my eyes as I hear Derek's footsteps on the marble floor.

But they don't open again.

"Lena?" Spencer's voice is closer, but I know he's still down there. "Lena, it's me, Spencer."

..

My eyes snap open to reveal Spencer's haggard face inches from my own. "What is it?" I ask, panicked.

"Nothing, I was just nervous." The look in his eyes vouches for his petty excuse.

"Okay... um, what time is it?"

"Nine in the morning," Jessica answers from the other side of my bed.

I purse my lips as I study her face-- the hollow cheeks and a bruise on her left temple, the timid look in her eyes...

"Are you okay?" I question. She nods quickly.

"I-I fell down the stairs," she stutters quickly.

Her phone begins to ring. "Are you going to get that?" I gesture to her hand, which is suspended over the screen of her phone.

"No."

That's not weird..

I clear my throat and face forward again, looking at no-one in particular. "How's my leg?"

"They're going to stitch it up in a few days," Spencer explains, catching the perplexed look on my face.

"Then can I go home?"

He nods, a slightly worried look in his eyes for a fleeting moment, before returning to an emotionless stare. Jessica's phone starts ringing again, and I swear it sounds almost impatient.

"Are you sure that's--"

"It's fine, Lena," she hisses, before muttering a brief apology.

I turn to Spencer, who mirrors my bewildered expression. "Okay," I say slowly.

Spencer fumbles with his omnipresent satchel, then pulls out a formal document. "Before I forget," he excuses, "Morgan wanted me to give you this."

I take the letter and scan it for any fines or laws that I've broken-- but find nothing. I then peruse the entire document and then glance at Spencer. "Okay?"

"He's letting you keep the-- your child," he mutters, and I give him the same look.

"Yeah?"

Spencer's cheeks flush. "I just thought you should--"

For the third time, Jessica's phone begins to ring. She puts it on silent. "Sorry," she apologizes. "Continue."

"I just thought you should know," Spencer repeats.

"I told him to do it."

"Sorry," he mumbles.

"Hey, it's okay. I forgot that I didn't get the chance to tell you," I assure him, reaching for his hand. "Don't apologize."

"Sor--"

"Don't," I interrupt. Before he gets the chance to say sorry again, Jessica's phone emits a deep buzzing noise. "Jessica, really, it's fine if you have to take the call."

"I don't want to," she says quietly.

If I hadn't figured it out beforehand, that was my clue that there was something up.

We stay silent for a long time, excluding the perpetual ringing of Jessica's phone. After a while, Spencer stands up. "Well, I guess--"

Suddenly, a very intimidating, very large man bursts into the room and grabs Jessica roughly by her arm. She yelps, and Spencer clumsily takes out his phone.

Jessica gets dragged out by her wrist and I feel myself begin to hyperventilate. "Jesus, Spencer, do something!" I shriek, and Spencer says something into his phone then sprints out the door, yelling something about stopping "that man."

I burst into tears, and soon the nurse comes into my room. "What's wrong, Honey?"

"Somebody took my friend!" I wail, hating myself for being confined to a hospital bed.

"Where?"

"I don't know! But he took her," I sob again, gripping her shirt. "You have to go find her, please!"

"I-- I can't, Lena, I'm sorry! You need to calm down!"

"Why?" I ask desperately, but I ignore whatever she says next. I can't focus, really, at all, and it seems as if my life will never be calm again.

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A/N

Oops sorry if this chapter was sort of disappointing and short and the wait was long, but this is important to the story line so just bear with me. I love you all and I hope you enjoy this book!