Breaking the Barrier

We Arent Who You Think We Are

Warning: This book might be triggering sometimes and deals some mature themes. I will put a warning before any content that might be triggering. Please do not read it if you feel like you might be triggered. I love you guys and I don't want anyone to have any harm brought to themselves because of this. Ok I'll stop babbling.
"Claire in order for me to help you I need you to speak to me," her facial expression screamed empathy but I could tell she didn't care. I sat in the chair wit my arms crossed and a blank stare across my face like always. Right as she was about to speak again a security guard came to bring me back to my room. It was like I was a child, always being watched. I was forced here because I had attempted to kill myself and my parents didn't want to deal with me.

I was sent here and evaluated for 2 weeks. They diagnosed me with server depression and a bipolar disorder. They had also told my parents I was forming an eating disorder and I would need to stay here for months. I hated it here. Everything I did was controlled by them. They told me what I ate, when I used the bathroom, when I woke up, when I would go to bed, and most of all, who I was supposed to be. The medication they gave me would keep me from lashing out and took away any emotions I had left. What drove me absolutely insane was how they treated us. They made us feel like freaks, but we weren't.

The girl I roomed with was named Savanna. She is one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She has struggled with Anorexia ever since she was 12, and now she was 15. She got so bad that she was only down to 90 pounds, way below average weight for a 15 year old. She began to gain more weight even through she hated it. She always told me how beautiful I was and how I should never try to change for anyone. I would try and tell her these things too, but she would never believe me. She was honestly one of the most beautiful girls I knew. Her blonde hair went below her waist and she had a beautiful smile that always made my day better. This beautiful girl somehow thought she was ugly. That she wasn't good enough. The thought of that just killed me. How could society destroy such a beautiful girl? Although she was smiling, I knew she was breaking on the inside. Every pound she put on was a loss for her. She felt out of control. She did need to gain weight, but not how they were doing it. They forced her to eat. Didn't even try to understand the problem but rather decide that she was just doing it for attention. It was one of the reasons I hated this place so much.

Then there was Luke. Luke came into the institute about a month ago. He has some of the most amazing eyes I've ever seen. Although people always admire the blue or green eyes, his brown eyes were just stunning. For the first 2 weeks he was here he didn't talk to anyone. It turns out he has severe anxiety and often has panic attacks. We had gotten to know each other pretty well and it turns out he was bullied all of junior high and his first year of high school. He was 16 now and is one of the funniest people I've ever met. He told me about his life at home. His parents constantly yelled at each other and fought. Once he got comfortable to talk to you he was really outgoing. Sometimes he would have panic attacks and I would sit next to him and talk him through them. He was one of my best friends here. We weren't who everyone said we were. If anything, we were so much more then that.

We are forced to battle our own minds everyday, fighting whatever lies it tells us. Then we are forced to fight whatever words are thrown at us.

Worthless. Weird. Freak. Insane. Broken.

Our days are living hell, and our nights aren't much better. Everyone says we aren't "normal", but in a way I would never want to be. I would never want to face the ignorance society has created. The intolerance for anything other then "normal". I've learned a lot from having to deal with my own mind. Maybe there's more to people. Maybe we aren't who everyone says we are. Until that barrier is broken, I won't stop fighting. This society is too screwed up to leave like this. I think I've finally found a will to live, I'm going to try and break the barrier.

I know this chapter is kinda short but it's just an introduction. Sorry for any errors...kinda wrote it fast and I hate editing. Anyways thanks for reading I will try to come out with a chapter every other day if I can.