Fall For Me

Step 15: Suicide

last UD po muna ha? Bukas or sa Saturday po ulit. ^___^ Godbless!

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Step 15: Suicide

Little by little.. I'm learning to accept the fact..

That slowly.. I'm falling for Kai even though I'm forcing myself not to.

Bakit Lord? Why does it have to be me? Why does it have to be him?

Bumalik na lang kaya ako sa States? Ayoko na.. I'm loosing hope.. Maybe it's God's way of telling me that it is not good to seek revenge for others?

Kai texted me last night. Mag-kita daw kami bukas, which is Sunday. Hindi ko alam kung anong gagawin namin..

Itu-tulog ko na lang siguro.

Sana pag-gising ko, masagot na yung mga tanong ko...

***

Someone giggles.. A child?

"Hey!! Shin!! Don't go too far!! We're going to meet someone!!"

Oh God. It's Sephie's voice!!!

"Sephie?? Sephie!!!" I shouted.
Someone tapped my shoulders from behind.

"Missed me?" She says. Bumalik na sa dati yung buhok niya.. Back to its natural blonde color.. She looks happy.. and alive..

I hugged her, so tight that I thought I'm already squeezing her. I don't want to let her go..

"Whoa!! Easy, Sis!! Hindi na 'ko maka-hinga!! Alam kong nata-tagalog ka na.. Speak up!"

"Na-miss kita... sobra.. Bumalik ka na.. Or atleast take me with you!!"

"NO!! Hindi mo pa oras, Sis. You still have to go far.."

"Bakit? Hindi ba pwedeng mag-kasama tayo?" She shakes her head.

"You'll have to face your future with someone else.."

"Who??"

"You'll have to figure it out by yourself.. Basta tandaan mo na, kung ano man ang desisyon mo, I'll be supporting you. Basta wag ka lang susunod sa'kin ng maaga ha? Sisipain kita pabalik sa Earth. I love you, Sis!! I haveto go, Ang likot kasi ni Shin!! Ang hirap hanapin!!"

"Shin? Sinong Shin?" I bet she can't hear me anymore. Medyo malayo na siya. May batang yumakap sa legs niya maybe, 1 year old pa lang? The child resembles someone..

They both smiled and waved at me. I did the same, and their image started to fade.

***

"HAH!!" Nagising ako at pawis na pawis ako. God, it's a dream.

Napa-ngiti ako. Ito ang unang pagkakataon na napanaginipan ko si Sephie.. Na hindi tungkol sa pagkamatay niya. Ang ganda-ganda niya.. Mukha siyang masaya, peaceful.

I wonder who the child is. Maybe her child in the future, king hindi siya namatay nang maaga..

Shin. Kinuha niya sa Sunshine at Seraphine.. Ang cute niya..

Mas naramdaman ko tuloy ngayon kung gaano ko siya nami-miss.

Suddenly, I felt very alone.. empty.