[contains sexual things idk?]
We meet tons of people. Most of them are very nice. They all wanted selfies with me. They also asked me some questions, however I didn't go into to much detail with my answers. As I don't want too much of my life exposed.
I leave half way through, Joe follows me and tells everyone he'll be back in five minutes.
"Hannah what's up?"
"I can't do this anymore Joe."
"Do..do what?",Joe sounds worried.
"It's just..."
"Go on."
"Well I just ruin everything. I'm the worst girlfriend ever,I'm sorry."
"Hannah. You don't ruin anything okay and your not a bad girlfriend,trust me."
"Feels like it.". I start to cry again.
"Hannah don't cry.", Joe hugs me. "It's going to be okay, you have me. I love you Hannah."
"I love you too Joe."
He kisses me, as he takes my hand. When we get back out there,there's more people than before. I think Joe see's the worried look on my face.
"I love you,". He whispered.
"I loved meeting everyone,it was a great experience" I posted a picture of me and a fan on Instagram.
We got a taxi back to the hotel. We are spending one more night at the hotel then we are going to Liverpool. I'm thinking of staying out of that one, I'll see how I feel.
When we get back to the hotel Joe looks the door,faster then I thought he would. He looks upset.
"Joe?"
"Hannah. I have bad news."
"Shit what happened."
"It's not really about me... Its about you." He starts crying.
I hug him.
"What happened? What did I do?"
"You know that the viewers went to you first then went to me to get the signed book?... Well a viewer told me that he saw something Hannah."
"I don't know what to say Joe. I'm sorry." I start crying.
I walk over to the bed and lie down on top of the sheets. Joe joins me.
"Don't be sorry", he says,he's now crying with me.
He puts his arms around me. I rest my head on him.
"What...What did you say to the viewer?"
"I said that it was nothing to worry about. He said that he's cut himself before and he can tell you have...." His voice trails off.
"Oh fuck me."
"Hannah it's okay. I'm going to help you. When did you last cut?"
"Joe I don't want to answer that."
"You have no choice Hannah."
"Ugh", I roll my eyes. "Yesterday."
Joe looks worried. He just hugs me tighter. We're still led on the bed.
"Sorry Joe."
Joe starts crying. I can tell he's really upset.
"Do I not make you happy?"
"Joe,of course you do."
"But your always upset."
"You know why. Plus I'm not always upset. You know how much you mean to me."
Joe doesn't say anything. He just looks at me.
"I'm sorry Hannah. I shouldn't of said that. I love you."
"I love you too Joe."
He pulls me closer. He kisses me. It's silent. I can here the sound of people outside. It's just me and Joe. I put my arms around him.
He sees the marks,the new ones. He traces his hand up my arm and he looks up at me.
"Don't leave me Hannah."
"I'm not going to."
"You don't want to leave me? But you want to kill your self. Hannah,that would hurt me a lot you know. But whenever you feel like that you just need to tell me. I want to help you."
"Like now...", I mutter.
"Your not doing anything your staying right here,okay?"
[Note to reader
•I don't really want to write this out,but they had sex. That is what I was trying to lead that to. I don't know if it worked? But I wouldn't be able to explain it.]
Me and Joe go to sleep. He's hands around me,like he's going to loose me if he lets me go.
