What The Body Wants

I Can't Forgive Or Forget

P.S.  I talked to your father and I told him that I would spend the rest of my life trying to make up for the embarrassment and the anger I know you felt for me.

Hope to hear from you soon

Kevin

 My eyes were watery and I couldn’t stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks.  How could he write me this bullshit and expect me to just agree to have dinner with him.  I said to myself I never wanted to see him again and I meant each and every word I said.

I just sat there looking at the letter that he sent me, I think straight, he has a lot of nerves to say he loved me and missed. 

I had my head in my hands trying to stop the tears when I heard a knock on the door and the knob turning.  The door opened and there stood Vincent and he had this scowl on his face.  He closed the door back and locked it.  He came over to my desk pulled me up from my chair and put his arms around me. 

I couldn’t help but melt in his arms, still shedding tears as he rocked me side to side rubbing circles on my back whispering words of comfort.  I lifted my head and apologized to Vincent for breaking down again in front of him.

“Nikki, what’s wrong sweetheart?”

“I came into my office and found this letter.  When I opened the envelope there was a letter from Kevin.  Here you can read it.”

“Are you sure, I’m sure he’s said some private things between you both and I don’t want to pry into your privacy.”

“Trust me it’s fine, I just can’t believe he had the audacity to tell me he still loves me.  Here just read it.”

I took the letter from her hands and read over the letter and I felt anger and I tried to control my anger, but I just put the letter back down on her desk.

“Can you believe the garbage he put on that piece of paper?  He’s got a lot of nerve and some monster balls to write that letter and think it was going to somehow make me want to see him.”

“I understand his reasons for writing this letter; however you have been there for him and you never complained.  The one night that was supposed to be that special night when you both were to declare your love for each. Something you thought you both wanted he decides to not show up and then slept with another woman.” 

“There is no way in hell you should appease him by joining him for dinner, but it’s your decision so you have to do what you think is right for you.”

“I said the day I left that I never wanted to see him again and that’s how I want to keep it.  Maybe at some point I will consider seeing him, but right now, I think if I see him, I would claw his eyes out of his head.”

Vincent just laughed at me, but I was dead serious he just don’t know.

“If you are ok, I am going to get back to the ER I just had to come and see if you were here and how you were doing.  If you need anything, anything at all, you have my cell number and whenever you need to talk I want you to pick up your phone and call me.  I don’t want to hear anything about you feeling guilty for needing someone to talk to, I’m here for you.”

“I guess nothing I say would change your mind not that I am not grateful, but I don’t want you to feel awkward about it.  Don’t worry though if I need you I will definitely call you, ok?”

“That’s all I ask, just let me be there for you.”

“Dr. Taricone you are such a sweet man, I can’t believe that you aren’t in a relationship with anyone.  I hope I don’t offend you, but are you gay?”

He grabbed my arm and brought me closer to him tilting my chin up so his lips would cover mine.  He kissed me slow, and damn did his mouth taste sweet.  He grabbed my waist pulling me closer to him as he kissed down my neck and back up to my ear sucking on my outer ear.

He concentrated on my ear sucking on the area just above my earrings.  I heard him smirk, but I couldn’t stop to find out what was funny.

He grabbed my hand bringing it down to his front.  He took my hand moving it up and down and I could feel how hard he was against my hand.  I won’t lie it felt so big; just before I could move my hand he whispered in my ear and I thought I was going to pass out.

“Do you feel that Nikki?”

I tried to speak, but nothing but a deep moan came out instead.

“Nikki, did you hear my question to you? Do you feel this” as he rubbed his erection against my stomach

All I could do was bob my head up and down.

“You did this Nikki, all I had to do was touch you and I could feel myself getting hard as a rock.  Do you still think I could be gay?”

“N…no…I don’t think you are g…g…gay.  But could y…you move b…back you are driving me crazy right now.  If you don’t move I am going to strip you right here and screw your brains out.”

I couldn’t stop my heart from racing or slow my breathing down.  I know I shouldn’t be feeling like this especially since I just ended a relationship.  I don’t want to start another any time soon.  But I can’t help but feel an attraction to this man.

“Trust me sweetheart, I won’t complain one bit, but I respect you too much Nikki to take advantage of you because you are at a place where you need to sort things out.  I just wanted to show you how much you excite me.”

“Thank you so much Vincent for being honest with me.  A lot of other men would take advantage of me because of what I just went through pretending to care just to get me in bed.  You are just not that kind of guy and that means a lot to me.”

“Anything for you because like I told you before I will wait as long as I have to, just to make you my wife and believe me the only thing I will spend the rest of my life doing is pleasing you and make you the happiest woman in the world.”

I just smiled at Vincent, maybe this is where I should have been, but we work together and that is a deadly combination.