The Life Of A Secret Agent In Full Force: Some Delicious Boundaries

Limit Thirty Five: When He Cries

                 “You won’t get anything by wasting your time fidgeting with the what ifs.” Pigil ko sa mga sinasabi niya.

                 “I’m just scared.”

                 “That’s always the problem with you, Rey. First, you set your boundary away from Sky because you’re too scared that you might fall harder this time but you still screw that boundary you made yourself. And then you chose to simply hurt her and kick her out because you’re too scared to fight side by side with her but still, one accidental meeting and you’re running after her again. Then this. You won’t tell her anything and you let her dig down which… will eventually come into fruition, because you’re too scared of what would her reaction be. Isipin mo nga. Paano kung malaman niya mismo ang totoo? Tingin mo hindi siya lalong magagalit sa’yo? Tingin mo iiwas lang siya basta-basta without slapping the fact to your face that you enraged her for keeping big booming secrets like that?”

            I have a point, don’t I? Sa pagkakakilala ko kay Sky, hindi naman niya magagawang matakot na lang ng basta-basta sa mga taong kilala niya. Especially that it was Rey. Pwede siyang magalit pero hindi siya matatakot at lalayo ng basta-basta. At lalo lang siyang magagalit sakaling malaman niya ang totoo na hindi galing kay Rey mismo.

            Dapat talaga sabihin na niya bago pa mahuli ang lahat at maunahan siya ni Sky o kaya eh ng ibang may galit sa kanya. Gaya na lang ‘yang si Leila. Paano kapag napuno ‘yan sa kanya? Edi patay siya.

                 “All I want right now is her.”

                 “Eh pa’no ka?” counter agad ni Gino. “Paano ‘yang posisyon mo? Are you ready to take the risk, Rey?”

                 “I don’t care with anything. I just want her. It’s too painful to live like this. Ayoko nang matakot. Ayoko nang… ayoko nang lumayo siya sa’kin.”

♪And even if I cried a thousand tears tonight
Would you come back to me?
And even if I walked on the water
Would you come out to sea? ♪

            Sa wakas. Akala ko kailangan pang may mabugbog sa kanya bago siya magising. “And so what is your problem?”

                 “I don’t know how she can understand what I want to say. Hindi n’yo ba naririnig lahat ng sinasabi niya? Akala niya ginamit ko lang siya, akala niya laro lang ang lahat, akala niya wala lang ‘to. How can I make her understand that it’s not what she think it is when she’s… so fixed with the idea?”

                 “That’s very simple. Show her the real Rey Ashton. Show her the real you. Hindi yung Rey Ashton na tumatayo sa harapan ng marami, yung naka-suit at sumasagot ng maraming tanong na wala namang kinalaman sa kung paano ka nabubuhay kundi yung Rey Ashton na naka-polo shirt at ragged jeans na nagsasalita lang just to say things he wanted her to hear. Hindi yung Rey Ashton na tumutulong sa iba kundi yung Rey Ashton na nabubuhay para lang sa kanya. Hindi yung Rey Ashton na sobrang tapang sa harapan ng marami kundi yung Rey Ashton na natatakot na mawala siya anumang oras. Ipakita mo sa kanya yung Rey Ashton na para lang sa kanya. Sa kanya mo sabihin lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman n’yang nasa dibdib mo. And then you’ll see, she might think about being with you for real.”