The Compass and the Quill [Under Revision]

36.

"No...it can't be. Come back to me, Parker."

I broke down, placing my forehead on his chest and weakly hitting it with my fist. "Don't leave me," I choked. "Come back." Letting out a body-wracking sob, I clutched his shirt in my fist as the most unbearable pain I had ever felt crushed my soul under its weight. He couldn't be gone so soon - I refused to believe it. We had been through too much together. If he died, I didn't have it in me to fight alone - and I definitely didn't have the strength to explain this to his family.

"Parker," I sobbed. "I'm so sorry. I couldn't save you...I tried, but I couldn't get to you in time. I'm sorry."

I wish I had truly told him how I felt about him. I had held back so much from him and now he was gone. Even though I had known that our time together was short, I had pushed him away on multiple occasions. I never even got to tell him that I loved him.

"Please pull through this," I begged him. "Please."

Straightening up, I stroked his face, brushing hair away from his forehead and tracing his features tenderly. Tears flowed unbidden down my face, dripping onto his shirt. Through my fingers, I told him everything that I couldn't say when he had been right by my side. But there was one thing that I couldn't say just through actions anymore. He deserved to hear it out loud. Even if he was slipping away, I wanted to let him know what I truly felt about him. So I leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to his still lips.

"I love you, Parker," I whispered.

Even in my grief, letting those words out brought peace to me. Stubbornly hanging onto my very last shreds of hope, I continued to stroke his face, waiting. What I was waiting for, I didn't know. I didn't care. But I couldn't bring myself to leave his side because I was so scared that letting go of him would mean that I'd lose him forever. Maybe I was trying to save him by remaining close to him, utilising our unique ability to heal each other. But the undeniable fact was that he wasn't ill or injured. His soul had been sucked out and I had no idea if it was too late.

Suddenly, I saw Parker twitch out of the corner of my eye. Blinking tears away, I stared at him, not believing my eyes. And there it was - that little twitch of his fingers, the scrunching of his nose. As I watched, he released a long breath and opened his eyes, blinking rapidly before looking around and focusing on me.

"Parker..." I whispered, the grim clouds of despair clearing away from my heart.

It took him a few seconds to answer. "Hey beautiful," he said weakly.

I wiped my nose on the back of my hand and tried to smile at him. "Don't you ever do that to me again," I scolded him weakly. "I thought you were never coming back."

He smiled a tired smile at me, lifting a slightly shaking arm to cup my face. "How could I not?" he answered softly. "You were so insistent."

Heat flooded my face and shivers ran down my spine. Had he heard everything that I had said? Did that he had heard my confession of...oh no. It couldn't be. I had probably scared him. We were barely in a relationship and here I was, confessing my love for him. He probably thought that I was moving too fast or worse, that I was nuts. A confession from a creepy basket case like me was never desirable anyway.

"Uh," I said nervously, my voice rising up two octaves and shaking nervously. "How much of that did you hear?"

"I heard all of it."

Too weak to hold his arm up anymore, Parker made to drop his hand from my face, but I caught it and brought it up to my lips, placing a kiss on the inside of his palm. I was so happy that he was alive that I didn't care that he hadn't said that he loved me. His actions were enough.