Bang Bang. (ManxMan) Short Story

Chapter #7| His lies

I never knew love could be so painful, I guess I was blinded by his charms and my dreams praying that one day I'll meeting someone who loves me for who I am. Maybe I am selfish to pray for something that won't ever come true.

 How pathetic am I.

Those girls that loved Carter were used and broken, I thought they didn't want me to be with him because of my sexuality. I now realise what I thought then wasn't the case, they're trying to protect me, warning me that Carter isn't what he seems. He's a book that should be judged by it's cover and yet I fell right into his trap likes these girls.

Over hearing the conversation with his friends broke me, how stupid can I be to believe his words. I didn't want to believe those girls, I understand everyone makes mistakes but I thought I knew Carter better than they did and I guess I am wrong. I felt something was off with Carter and his friends, I should of listened to gut feeling.

I wanted to surprise Carter with a song I made for his birthday, he told me how much he loved me playing the piano. It calms him when he's stress or just wanted to be in blissful peace, blocking reality and reliving the world he's created in his mind.

"You saw the video now pay up" said Carter. I stood outside his bedroom door, I clench the USB stick in my hand. The video recorded us having sex during our second date, how could do such a thing?

"The amazing Carter Thomas accomplish a mission we thought it'll be impossible and now you sir are my hero" said Ryan.

"Did you look at his face when Carter confessed his life to him" said Michael. They laughed making fun of how I look saying mind as well become a woman. Tears roll down my cheek, the pain in my heart is hard to bear. Memories of us together flashed before me, telling me his secrets and his interests, was any of it real?

"Manny" said Carter. I looked up seeing him stood in front of me, I've been zoned out that I didn't hear him open the door.

"How much did you hear?" he asked in panic. Why was he panicking? Should he be thankful the truth is finally out, he doesn't have to put up with me anymore. Happiness doesn't exist to someone like so why bother hoping or praying that it will one day.

"Go claim your prize Carter, you earned it" I said. I gently held his hand and put the USB onto his palm. Tears continue to fall, no matter how much I wipe them away they come back.

"P-Please let me explain" he begged. I laughed.

"What is there to explain? I heard everything" I sobbed.

"Was any of it real?" I asked. I needed to know, I needed to know everything we shared, secrets we've confessed were real. His silence answered my question, my heart shattered along with my dreams, just looking him makes me feel like I am drowning.

"Goodbye Carter Thomas, you won't ever seen again" I said. I ran out of his house, I drop down and screamed, sobbing in pain. Rain started to fall, the pain I cannot take the pain, there's so much I can take before I crumble.

Carter Thomas lied.

Carter Thomas didn't chased after me.

Carter Thomas didn't love me.

And now I am nothing.

I am reaching my limit.

My life is worth nothing.

Happiness doesn't exist.

So does Carter.

The walk home took long.

 Mother cried.

 Mother screamed.

 Begging to put the gun down. I pointed to my head, everything goes wrong it my life and it's not just Carter but he's the one cut the strings. I thought everything was real, it felt so real, I thought it was just dream that I didn't want to wake. Cutting won't take the pain away, father won't love me, people won't accept me.

Carter won't be real.

Everything doesn't exist.

I don't exist.

"I love you!" Mother cried as she banged on the bathroom door. She punched and kicked trying to break it down.

It's useless mother.

"Thank you" I replied. My finger on the trigger, again memories flash before me, god how much I hate them now. I thought I can cherish them but now everything is lie, his love is a lie, everything is a lie.

I pulled the trigger.

Bang Bang.