My Ex Best Friend

Losing the person who was supposed to be there

I was starting to heal after we met. We bonded and did everything together little by little. I slowly met your amazing family and you met my lil family too.

God I loved it.

We realized slowly that all we needed was each other. Life was drama free without any other friends but you, and when friends came into our lives they never stayed long because they weren't like us.

When 2 people became close in my life you tried pushing them away. You were jelouse of them getting close. I don't blame you. I loved how close we were. I don't know what I would do without one of them now.

Sarah.

Things were great and we barely fought ever. We were all we had and all we needed as friends. I never thought of having anyone else. I didn't want anyone else.

Two years we had.

Man idk what I would've done as a freshman without you. You were my crutch.

Fuck, you were my prostetic arm.

We fought over the littlest thing ever and thinking back it wasn't the first time we had fought that month. I don't know why we fought so much but it wasn't like us. It wasn't like you.

I had realized that I had wanted different things and that our maturity levels were so different then. I had realized reality and my beleifs and the path I wanted to walk. You were still believing in something that wasn't real.

But that still doesn't give you the right to tell me I wasn't good enough. I know now that everyone is worth amazing things. I know now that every life is equal and beautiful.

Including the blackened aura you display.

The night you finally screamed at me over text was the night I decided to tell my mom I needed a counselor.

I wanted to kill myself.

I had told myslef you were my life. I had told myself we were going to be best friends forever.

I was wrong.

I still cry at the thought of this whole situation. I seen your name on Kik and almost cried right there in the middle of the hockey game.

I'm doing better now. I have Sarah and some of her friends and to be completely honest I found myself.

I found the spiritual path I wanted to take. I found the Friend group that was willing to stop and help me through all of my problems. I found the light in the balckend aura I was forced to breath in order to maintain happiness.

Yea, some days I wake up and see you and secretly wish this was all a prank and we will go running into each other's arms but that's not how the world works.

But the thing is I don't regret meeting you. I wanna thank you for showing me who I really was.

Thank you