Breaking Walls (A VA Fanfic)[ON HOLD]

Ch. 5

My life was not going the way I planned. I had a simple procedure -go back, keep distance, be strong- Dimitri was making that very procedure very hard for me to follow.

I could feel his eyes staring at me. God, I was eating lunch! I reminded myself to not make eye contact with him & hurriedly went out of the cafeteria. I made my way to the gym & was almost there, when I realized he had followed me. Great.

"Leave me alone, will you?" I said turning around. "You're acting like a stalker."

He smiled at me again, which just made me want to punch him. Again.

"Let's talk," he said.

"No," I immediately replied. "Go away."

"Are you afraid of talking to me, Roza?" he asked smirking.

"No, I just don't want to," I said.

"So, in other words, you're afraid," he stated.

I scoffed. "Why on earth would I be afraid of you?"

"I didn't say you were. I said that you're afraid of talking to me. There's a difference."

"I don't care. I'm not afraid of anything concerning you."

"Then I guess, you're afraid of letting people in generally."

"What makes you think that?" I asked.

"The fact that you're avoiding talking to me."

"Actually, I'm avoiding you totally."

He laughed. "I can see that Roza." he said as he was called by Alberta. "We'll talk later."

***
I walked into my room and locked the door. The couch looked so comfy right now, but I wanted to check on my emails first. I yawned, but forced open my eyes. I was not gonna go to sleep at 8pm. Or at all, really.

I expected to find my mailbox empty, but instead I found like 20 emails. This was suspicious.

Turns out, all of them were from Dimitri. Deleting them all, I plonked down on my couch only to fall asleep within minutes. This wasn't what I had wanted to happen, but I was too tired to care.

I awoke from someone cracking my door open. Weird, I knew I had locked it up. I checked my watch to see how long I had been asleep. Twenty minutes! Seriously!

I was gonna kill whoever walks through that door.

It was Dimitri.

I sighed. "Would Alberta be happy knowing that you're using your master key to break into student dorms?"

"I'm here on business," he replied.

I narrowed my eyes. "What kind?"

"Uh, it's kinda personal."

"Get out of my room."

"No," he said. "You will talk to me."

"Again, what makes you think that I will listen to you?"

"I don't care this time. You're talking to me," he said sternly.

"Get lost," I said, trying to shove him out of my room. Obviously, it didn't work. He caught me & pushed me onto my bed locking the door. I hastily got up & glared at him. He came over & gripped my wrists before sitting down on my bed, dragging me with him.

I was not happy with this position.

After 15 minutes of continuously trying to get out of his grasp, I finally calmed down as he breathed a sigh of relief.

"Finally," he said.

"I can do it again," I warned.

"Roza, talk to me," he said painfully.

Oh, so, now I got what he wanted. That I break down & he'll be there to comfort me, so I'll tell him everything & we'll be back together. Well, tough.

I glared at him. "What does it seem like I'm doing? Crying my eyes out?"

"Crying's not a bad option for you right now," he said. "For me either."

"You can cry all you want, but I won't do it," I told him.

"Why?" he asked.

"'Why?' Are you really asking me that? Wasn't it you who told me not to be weak?" I asked.

"Oh, so this is what this all is about," he said.

"What?" I said confused.

"You think you're acting strong, but you're not. Crying isn't a weakness, Roza. It's a necessity. A strong person is not the one who doesn't cry. A strong person is the one who cries & sheds tears for as much as he needs to. And then he gets up & fights again. You can't keep your feelings bottled up like that. You'll crack. And I don't want you to crack in front of everyone else. I want you to crack in front of me. Right now. Please Roza, just relax for me."

I noticed that his grip on my wrists had tightened & that he was looking at me in a way that made my heart break. I really did want to cry. But I won't. I had promised myself that.

I squared my shoulders & met his eyes looking at me with longing & with pain. I threw any emotions I felt to the back of my brain & told him, "I am never gonna cry again. Ever."

"Roza would you please listen to me? I'm trying to help you," he said trying to meet my eyes.
"Hey, look at me Rose. Please Roza."

I was near tears now. I wanted to tell him everything. I had to do something. I couldn't let him break me. Problem was, I couldn't, think properly with him looking at me so intensely.

He cupped his fingers under my chin & tilted my head up. Then, something happened that shouldn't have. But it felt wonderful. And also very wrong.

Did you like the cliffhanger??