The Clown Effect

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Maybe train tracks aren't a good place to take a girl. We both sat on the abandoned rails and talked about things we liked, our classes, and even some of our other friends.

Alice had been my friend for a while and knew me better than most of my friends. We weren't that close until the summer, we talked everyday on the phone at 6 even though I was a state away.

I was usually comfortable with her, the way her hair occasionally blew in her face from the wind, her friendly smile, and even her care free laugh. It was all so comfortable.

But today the air felt stale. Alice was the same but something else was different. I stared out in the distance while she was talking about her quiñce.

I felt something wet slide down my cheek and pressed my finger against it. It was...tears?

"What's wrong?" Alice's face was full of concern but I smiled and wiped my face, breathing in the air.

"My eyes are just watering, that's all." She laughed a little bit.

"I thought you didn't want to go to my quiñce or something."

"I wouldn't miss it for the world." We both smiled genuinely.

Tension was building up inside me, I wasn't sure what from. Maybe I actually did like Alice, I had been debating it for the longest but I'm sure now that she's the one that's making my heart pound so much.

I took a sharp intake of air then looked at her face. It was quiet again. The wispy clouds slowly moved by in the blue sky and a few birds fluttered near.

"Alice I think I-" she hunched over and made a groaning noise. "Are you okay?" I nearly yelled, putting my hand on her back.

"Hurts..." She gasped trying to breathe. From the looks of her pain full expression I could tell this was serious.

"Does it hurt to move?" I started to sweat as she grunted in response.

"Okay, I'll get my mom," I started to walk then ran faster. My house was around here somewhere and my eyes immediately searched for my red roofed house.

Suddenly I heard a wail of dispair. I turned around and saw a train chugging along on the tracks. The train isn't even supposed to be there, why is it there? My heart dropped as soon as I remembered Alice was stuck on the track in pain, she tried moving but desperately failed. I ran back to save her from the deadly train.

Suddenly I tripped on a gatorade bottle and fell on my knees. My pants were ripped from the millions of rocks near us.

I couldn't hear anything, see anything, and barely smelt the cool air around me. I looked up and heard a loud crunch as the train pulverized Alice. A shrill scream cured my hearing for a quick five seconds.

That last thing I'll ever hear her say. Blood stained the rails and painted the rocks crimson. Her body was crushed, smashed, dismantled. I hardly recognized her through my stream of tears. I screamed for her to come back.

The only one who understood me, gone. The only one who could make me smile by just smiling, gone. The only girl who's ever seen me as a pretty cool guy, all gone.

I cried out to the ground and slammed my fist against the sharp edges of the sediment until my wrists bled.

It didn't seem real to see her there, obviously in pain. Wait. She isn't in pain. She can't feel anything anymore.

Her dream to become a Baker was splattered on those rocks, her youth was splattered on those rocks, and her goodwill was along their jagged edges.