Warning: you might find this dumb.
I'm still not free
I can't believe how I feel right now. Even after you did what you did, even after you killed yourself, even after you gave up, I still feel trapped.
I don't know why. I just feel like it's my fault that you are not here anymore. I could've done something to save you. Only if I knew. Only if I thought more deeply about who you really hard. Only if I didn't judge you for what you did to me. Only if I took a look at your past. Only if I took a look a your present. Only if I took a look at your future, and saw all your blood. Only if I was there for you.
I know that you were never there for me, nobody was actually there for me. But nobody was there for you either. And I feel like I could've been there for you. I feel like I could've done something about it. I feel like I could've save you. I feel like I could've made your cuts turn into scars. Too bad I can't make MY cuts turn into scars.
I tried to change myself for you. But it didn't work. And it was worthless because you gave up anyways. But I still feel like I am trapped. Trapped in my soul. Like I can't get out and show people what think. Like I can't leave and show the world who I really am. I feel worthless.
I didn't even try to save you. I couldn't even save myself, but maybe if I had saved you, I could save myself.
I still have to satisfy people. New bullies. New people like you. But this time I am not going to make the same mistake. I am going to make sure I don't judge them like I did with you, and how you did with me. I'm not going to hurt myself for them. I'm going to change... in your memory.
I'm only doing this because I'm still not free.
Comment and vote because it will show me how much you truly care for people who hurt themselves to change themselves.
LRAB
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My Depressing Notes | ✓
Poetry"They're never going to see the real me." Just a regular teenager letting her heart out. *Currently Editing* WARNING: I didn't even think when I was writing, which may have caused a lot of grammar errors, and at some point, things might even get con...
