High School

Untitled Part 39

back, but he meant what he said. It sucked, a lot, but maybe it would make things easier for Lisa. Though he didn't like her, she deserved to have a happy life and if a happy life included Dean, Castiel was willing to give her that - he was selfless like that. Dean leaned over Castiel, taking his hand. "Don't be stupid, Cas," he said and kissed him. "She's not what I want. I've known her for a long time and we're friends, of course I'm upset that .. but that doesn't mean I'm running back to her." The pain in Castiel's chest eased, making it easier for him to breathe again. He pushed his fingers into Dean's hair and pulled him closer. "I need you, Cas." Dean said in between kisses. Castiel almost cried happy tears and smiled against Dean's lips. Maybe things were going to be alright after all. ~ Dean spent the next few weeks with Lisa. He drove her to her appointments, held her hand when the doctor told her that the cancer was now in her heart, comforted her when she had break downs, and supported her family wherever he could. In between, he spent his time with Castiel. They often only saw each other in school and though Dean had promised him to sleep at Castiel's every night, he never did.It happened during classes. Castiel was scribbling down notes of what his teacher said, when he got a text message from Sam. 'She's gone. In her sleep.' (okay listen i saw the opportunity and i took it; civil war) In that moment Castiel knew something was going to change and he wasn't prepared. Dean had distant himself the past few weeks, even the daily phone calls right before sleep had turned into weekly. It was like Dean was preparing himself to cut loose. Castiel felt his chest tighten, grabbed his stuff and left the room. He ignored his teacher screaming after him, he had to find Dean and try to fix things or just be there for him. Castiel stopped in front of his locker. This wasn't the right time to be selfish, this wasn't about him and his feelings. He rested his forehead against the cold metal. "Fuck," he croaked and slammed his fist into the locker. Though he really tried to put Dean first, he couldn't ignore the aching in his chest that slowly turned into hollow pain. They'd never clarified what they were. It was so easy for Dean to just end it, whatever they had. He wiped the single tear off his cheek and took a deep breath. Making assumptions of what was going to happen now wasn't going to help in any way. Castiel pushed himself off the locker and ran out of the school. He didn't knew where Lisa lived - Dean had refused to tell him, because 'it doesn't matter, Cas' -, but he knew where Dean lived and he could wait there for him. It took him longer to get there by running than it would have by driving and when he knocked on the front door, out of breath and sweaty, no one opened. He knocked again. Nothing. Castiel gasped for air, buckled over and holding his stomach. He sat down on the steps and pulled his legs to his chest, hiding his face between his knees. "It's okay," he mumbled. "Everything's gonna be okay." Castiel could feel tears welling up, but suppressed them. He had no right to cry, not now, not yet. The hours ticked by and Castiel waited, drumming his fingers against his shins. Castiel checked his phones, but there was nothing but a picture of him and Dean smiling.: Castiel didn't care when it went dark and he was still waiting for one of the Winchesters to come home. He tried to call Sam for what felt like the millionth time, but he didn't answer. He didn't understand why they'd block him out like this. It wasn't fair, he had feelings too. Maybe they never really cared about him after all. His heart skipped a beat when he heard a car pulling up the driveway, but shrank immediately when he saw that it was Gabriel. His