Down For You

Now or Never

I uploaded my first cover video to my YouTube channel a few minutes ago and I'm currently hyperventilating because I have no idea what kind of feedback I'm gonna get until sometime tomorrow. I'm keeping Murphy's law in mind: "Whatever can happen, will happen."

I kept my promise to Lucas after he called me at 11 something last night saying he couldn't go to sleep because he was thinking about me. In the heat of the moment I decided to sing "A La Nanita" to him. Although I thought I sounded a little raspy, he told me otherwise. It's funny cause he always tells me how much me loves to hear me speak español.

In order to ease my wandering mind, I turn on the TV and switch the channel to Cartoon Network. Luckily my favorite show; Steven Universe is on. Don't judge me, I'm a kid at heart.

All of a sudden my phone starts going cray cray and vibrates one after the other. Ding ding ding following after indicating that I am in fact receiving notifications. I press the unlock button on the side of my phone and watch as the description of the notification changes every few seconds. What in the actual fuck. I am real life shocked right now.

After about 3 minutes the dinging and vibrating stops and by that time I have 100+ comments to view. I press my finger down on the screen quickly opening the notification.

As I continue to scroll down the page, I start to get overwhelmed by how much people loved my video. I didn't even pay attention to the views until someone in the comments pointed it out to me: "OMG!!! You got 20k views on your video. Congratulations, you sound amazing btw". I read out loud as I skimmed the black words on the screen. I flick my finger over the screen to see if she's telling the truth or nah. To my surprise it is true and it looks like the numbers are increasing. I'm not sure whether I should cry or scream, but I end up doing both because I'm weird asf.

Pressing in the phone icon on my home screen I scroll down until I see 'Ma' and swipe to call. I haven't talked to her in a few days, but I have to share this news with her first.

"Hey Ray. What's the matter? Everything alright?" She asks, concern painting her words.

"Yes ma'am, everything is fine. I just wanted to tell you something really exciting." I reply hoping to calm her down.

"What's that?....You bettah not be pregnant Rayen. I will drive ovah there and beat yo ass." She threatens.

"Chill ma, chill. I'm not pregnant...yet. Besides, I'm pretty sure I'm grown now Ma. That's not what I wanted to tell you though." I quickly protest.

"Good. I feel better now. Wassup?" She says, laughing at herself. This woman is a bit loco and I see where I get it from for real.

"So remember how I was telling you that I wanted to start a YouTube channel and what not and hopefully share some videos of me singing?" I ask trying to jog her memory.

"Ummmm, yeah kinda. I think so." She answers truthfully.

"Okay. Weeellll, I just found out that I got twenty thousand views on my first video. I'm literally screaming right now." I explain attempting to keep all parts of my composure.

"Oh shit. Really Ray?? That's amazing sweetie. I'm so proud of you." My mom expresses, obviously elated.

"Woooaahh okay Ma. You happy huh?" I reply making her laugh.

"Hell yeah I'm happy Ray. That's a lot of freakin' people." She continues.

"I honestly don't really know what I'm feeling right now. Kinda freaking out, kinda wanna cry, feel like twerking a little bit. Maybe a lot." I joke as my mom giggles on the other end.

"That's amazing sweetie, I really mean it. My baby is gonna be singing in front of thousands of people one day. It's kinda scary to think about ain't it?" She asks making me freeze. I hadn't quite thought about that part. Yeah I've always dreamed of performing, but when that dream becomes reality, it kinda freaks you out a little. From now on my life is never gonna be the same, but some change is good.

"I've got faith in you though Rayen. You are very different and you seem to handle things very differently. When you make it big just don't fahget about ya momma ahright." She expresses.

"Yes ma'am, that's my word. I love you Ma. Imma call Lucas and Red and tell them too. They probably gone go crazy, especially Red." I state happily.

"Ahright sweetie. I'll talk to you later okay. Mama is exhausted, but that just made my entire day." She answers giving me kisses through the phone. Afterwards I call my boyfriend and my best bitch and tell them the grand news. I have to post a thank you video because I am genuinely thankful for all the love everyone has shown me today.

I treat myself to a couple Shrimp Po Boys' and Sweet Tea because, culture. I brainstorm about what songs I should do a cover to next. This day is all the motivation I need to get myself out there and start my career as an artist.