Indefinite Love

Chapter 20

Brecklyn

It took a while to get me to calm down, and eventually I told Noah to go away and asked him to go get my Mom.

And Mom just sat with me and held me hand.

We didn't talk.

She asked if I wanted to and I told her no.

Now though, we've gone to dinner

Nobody pushed me to eat.

They stopped asking me to take them places I have memories at.

We're in the car now, driving back to the hotel, and then we're going to change and go hangout at the pier.

I turn the car around.

"Where are we going?" Charlotte asks.

I need to talk about something happy.

"How many kids do you want?" I ask Noah, not answering Charlotte's question.

He shrugs.

"I thought we decided on four."

"We did." I say.

"Then why are you asking me?" he frowns.

The car is quiet for a long time, and he can tell by the look on my face that I'm not ignoring him.

"I can't leave Rosie with her." I whisper a few minutes later.

He's quiet for a second.

"So..." he trails off.

"I want to adopt her." I say, glancing at him, and then back at the road. "Is that crazy?"

He studies me for a long time.

"I'm not sure." He says.

"She's four." I remind him. "I can't get the way she was looking at me out of my head. She was so sweet when she said her name, and within seconds, she was crying. Do you know what that bitch did to her when she fell in the mud?"

He shakes his head.

"She used a pressure washer to clean her off, and the water is reclaimed, and then threw her, in her wet clothes, in this, this cage like thing she hides behind a bookshelf. It's pitch black in there and there's no light seeping in so your eyes can't dilate, it's ice cold."

"You're lying." He says.

He's not laughing or smiling.

"I'm not lying." I say.

He studies my face for a long time.

"Brecklyn, you know this isn't something you can change your mind about tomorrow. This is a child. She would be, well...she'd be our daughter."

"I know that. Noah, you know me. You know I know that. I know it's sudden, I know, and I understand completely if you say no, but I really, really want to do this."

He's quiet for a long time, and he notices I keep going around the block.

"Are you one hundred and-and fifty trillion percent sure?" he whispers.

"Yes." I say.

"Okay." He says slowly. "Hey Caden, do you want a new sister?"

"I keep Rowan?" Caden asks.

"Of course you can." Noah says.

"Okay!"

Caden loves having siblings.