Blood Bound

Chapter 18: Long road to ruin

Its head smashed to bits.

My hands holding the spade that's coated in brain matter and dark fluids.

"Oh god," I choke out, staring at my shaking hands. My throat constricts and my stomach threatens to deliver the food back out of me.

Sophie glances at me, sighs and stops the car by the road. She puts it on neutral and grabs one of my hands. "Leia, relax," she consoles me in her own awkward, brutish way. "What you did was necessary and you did good. Do you hear me?" She leans closer, her dark eyes fixed upon mine. "You did an amazing job!"

My brain hears the praise and my OCD compels me to clap my hands. But they're so dirty! However, I can't disobey. Whimpering, I clap my shaking hands a couple of times but it doesn't give me the usual relief. Instead, I'm filled with self-disgust and hate. How could I reward myself for killing a person? The emptiness rapidly fills with remorse and self-loathing, enveloping me as it threatens to suffocate me.

"I killed a person," I whisper and I can barely contain my trembling frame, looking frantically into Sophie's dark, unforgiving eyes, searching for something that could persuade me from the truth. But I find nothing, only the cold, hard, true fact of my actions.

"That thing was already dead when you killed it," she winced at her poor choice of words. "I mean, what you did was giving it everlasting peace. It won't hurt or kill anyone else ever again. It's all thanks to you. And I'm sure its soul is grateful for that."

Sophie is really bad at consoling people. It was never her thing and she relies too heavily on the "tough love" act, which I'm not accustomed to. But she's obviously trying for my sake and I'm sure it must be hard for her uncaring, undead heart. This time, though, her "tough love" does have its odd charm. My shivers lessen to a degree where I can hardly feel it and my mind isn't spiraling down a bottomless pit of despair and abhorrence.

"You really think so?" My voice is barely audible, it's so small and quiet and I almost don't want to look at my friend who probably is regarding me in contempt.

But Sophie surprises me yet again and gives me a reassuring nod and then proceeds to pour water on my hands, washing away the evidence of my heinous act.

"The car!" I squeak in an alarm but she dismisses it with a scoff.

"Who gives a shit, it's not even my car," she grunts, thrusting her hand back over her wound as another jolt of pain courses through her.

"Do you need to go to the hospital?" I ask, a bit relieved that I can worry over something else.

Sophie shakes her head. "No need," she answers, hitching up her breath as she scoots back in the driver's seat. "It's healing. Just slower than I anticipated." She starts the car again and we're back on the road.

It's lonely out here. Just the open road and us, and the occasional car or truck that pass us in the opposite side. It's just us against the world, I realize as I rest my head against the window, listening absentmindedly to the music that's playing on the radio. It feels like forever since we left my city and yet only 2 days have passed. Were the others hot on our trail? The familiar knot in my stomach tightens slightly as my worries grow more potent, so I quickly decide to break the silence between us in order to quell it.

"How long until sunrise?" I ask her. I would check my watch but my limbs have turned to lead from sheer exhaustion.

"A couple of hours," she grunts, peering at the road. "I'm trying to see whether we can park the car in some wooded area but there's nothing here! We've been driving for 3 hours and nothing but fucking fields!" she slams her hand down on the steering wheel in frustration.