The Unexpected

Of Salad Tongs & Gold Cufflinks

Please dont kill me*Holds a pan in front of her face*

I was kind of on a home trip and got distracted so this is a late update.

"Almost there Rose. Just a little more"

Smack

A loud voice echoed through the room as my hand made a rough contact with Adrian's cheek.

"THIS IS NOT A FUCKING JOURNEY AND I AM FUCKING DRUNK, SO JUST SHUT THE FUCKING HELL UP AND MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL. AND WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT, TAKE HIM OUT. NOOOOOOOOOW"

It was certified now that my life couldn't get any more ironic. I had very adventurous teenage, I had to make the decision of killing my love on my birthday, I got my lifelong unneeded spirit stalker on what was supposed to be a relaxing trip and also lost my best friend on that very trip. So, maybe I wasn't supposed to get surprised when Mason decided to reincarnate on New Year's night when I was six shots down and really close to winning the competition with the boys. We also got the red bulb of how there was no water breakage lodged in my reproductive system.

"I CA...ANT. N...NOT ANYMORE" I was tired. I didn't feel my body, just the saline water on my face and the tight grasp of Sydney's warm hand. I felt the continuous rubbing of Alice's coldness on my forehead. I was fighting, I wasn't ready to fall but the alcohol was making my system numb. At this particular moment people wait for the mother(in this case me) to just suddenly pass out after the patent dialogue and drift into some weird ecstasy Dmitri filled dream. Well...yeah, I was definitely in the mood for that but then my eyes took the exact wrong time to adjust in the blinding light. No surprise in the bad timing.

"THOSE ARE SALAD TONGS! YOU ARE NOT PUTTING ANY GODDAMN KITCHENWARE IN THERE" I yelled as Carlisle approached me with silver monstrosity in his hands. I could feel everyone's gaze on me due to my sudden burst of energy.

"I am rethinking the idea of giving you an anesthetic Hathaway. Can't even think of what you would say to others." Emmett threw his patent devilish smile at me as I eyed the serene heavenly fluid in his hand....excluding the needle.

"I don't think I hate you that much bearhead"

"PUT THE FREAKING THING IN ME BEFORE I MELT THOSE GOD DAMN CUFFLINKS IVASHKOV"

"On second thoughts, just make her sleep". Nailed it. I internally smiled at my victory and gave one last push before giving in to the morphine in my system.

***********************************************************************************************

TIME LAPSE.......



"Mase why is there a lizard on the table" I narrowed my eyes at my son placing the noodles near the monstrous filthy creature lying on the table.

"I don't know, maybe he's hungry."

"Hey!" I slapped his hand lightly as it started towards the big bowl. Mason loooooved noodles, no thanks to his godfather who had very miraculously stopped drinking as soon as he held him. Cliche right?

 "Did you catch him and bring him in the house?"

"Not this one"

 "What do you mean not this one?"

 "He's too small, I only catch the big ones."

 "Are there any big ones in the house?"

 "Not recently."

"That's a relief."  

Okay seriously people would think there were no issues about insects or scary animals in a vampire household which was true.......till some extends. For instance when Adrian wasn't there.

Yeah the great headache spirit stalker was afraid of lizards and Mason alongwith Nessie had learned a great deal about 'How to keep parents occupied with constant pranks on..well...everyone'. No surprise he was a Hathaway.

"Rooose" Alice's singsong voice reached my ears and my smile automatically got replaced with a groan....that tone only meant one thing....like always..

"SHOOOPING TIIIME!!" Meaning: Get dragged around by two hot vampires until THEY dont get satisfied by YOUR stuff.

This is the moment when I prefer Adrian's stalking over overly cheerful Alice......I dont care if I sound like a horny teenager begging for love.

I plastered a smile and turned to face her thinking of an excuse....one which would work this time. Just as I was about to speak the spoon cluttered falling from Mason's hand...aaannnd IDEA!!

"Actually Alice I really wanted to come but you know how much Mason loves noodles and I just cant say no to him right? He will cry"

"But mommy I am done" I mentally facepalmed myself. I looked at him narrowing my eyes at him.....he was doing it purposely. I am going to kill Adrian.

"No you are not....you love them" I smiled sweetly with gritted teeth at him as Alice looked between us with confused expression. And it worked as Mason said yes giving in and I was free.

I wish. 

My son....grinned at me......evilly and as if that wasn't enough he spoke. He spoke with his bell voice which always ALWAYS got anyone but me and Edward to agree. Unfortunately for me Alice had the strongest effect. So it was no surprise when Alice, who hated cooking, made five plates of FREAKING 5 DIFFERENT KINDS by the time I was pushed in my top by various people and locked me in a car which led to my very own purgatory......the mall. Note that Alice and Rosalie are the reapers here who made it there in 10 minutes and I was the crazy spirit who was going to haunt Emmett and Jacob for assuring me that they will be there looking as I would get tortured.

I know this is a abrupt end and this is a hell of a sucky chapter. Buuut I really couldn't think of something with a cheese pizza in front of me. Hehe..

Next one WILL be better....because its time for some reunions. This was a spoiler I know but it will intrigue you guys and hopefully you wont kill me for this late update.

Vote and Comment.

Hugs and kisses

Rosaven.