A Season of Firsts

Chapter 20 - Milkshakes and a Decision

My unasked question is answered when a platinum blonde waitress walks on over. "What will it be today?" Her smile is almost too big for her face.

"A strawberry milkshake, please," Cleo smiles sweetly up at her.

After she leaves, I'm doing my best not to notice how soft Cleo's hair looks or how bright her eyes are today. I try to think about something else other than how she smells faintly of cinnamon or how her silver chain necklace lies perfectly in the groove of her collarbone. I gave that necklace to her for her fourteenth birthday.

"Something on your mind, Niel?" Cleo interrupts my distraction. Curse her ability to notice everything about me, even what lies underneath.

I wish she wouldn't use any familiar nickname on me, she probably has no idea what it makes me feel. A smile tugs at my mouth. I remember hers. Does she still get irritated when someone calls her by it?
I decide to keep up my spell of silence and not test it out.

She sighs. "You always did win when we played the silent game."

I sip from my straw. Yes, I will be winning this one as well. If I just don't look at those wide, pleading, nearly forest green eyes...

Too late. I'm staring right into them.

~ ~ ~

CLEO

He has yellow and gold flecks in his amber green eyes.

Don't get lost in there, I tell myself. Just tell him what you came to tell him.

"Look," I start. "I wanted to say that...that...I...missed you."

Something unreadable crosses his face and then disappears. "Sure you did," he shakes his head and looks away. But I feel a slight sense of triumph at getting him to speak to me. Now just to keep him talking.

"Yes. I did. In fact, I still do." I play with the bracelet on my wrist, bracing myself for what I'm going to say next. I feel like a little kid again. "Daniel, can we be friends again?"

He laughs. He actually laughs. I let go of my bracelet, clenching and unclenching my fists beneath the table. The sound that used to warm my insides is now grating on my nerves, because it's laced with bitterness. "Don't you have other friends now? Aiden? That Garth guy?" he says.

I frown at what he's implying. And how does he know about Garth?

Instead of snapping at him like I want to, I compose myself and keep my voice steady. "Friends are a good thing, you know. The more the merrier."

Gripping the edge of the table so hard his knuckles turn white, Daniel turns dead serious as he grits his teeth at me. "Let's get one thing straight. I. Don't. Need. You. Any. More." He pauses in between each word to get his point across. "And I don't want to be your friend. Go care about someone else, because it's wasted on me."

His words sink like a sharp knife into me. "I want to help, Niel," I insist, tears burning my eyes.

"I don't need your help!" he snarls. "And you wouldn't be able to help even if I did. Don't think you've fooled me into thinking you have it in you to deal with the stuff I'm dealing with. Find another person who wants you to pretend you can help them."

He thinks I'm pretending? Can't he see that couldn't be further from the truth?

"I have made mistakes too, okay? I've been through the wringer before as well. You're not the only one." I do my very best to hold the tears back. "And you're so wrong, Daniel. I would never pretend with you."

He scoffs. "No, you wouldn't, would you. Neither would you crush me with a few words or never visit me in Massachusetts or think you're so much better than me."

My mouth drops open. "I told you. I don't fake around you. Would you have wanted me to fake feelings for you, Daniel? And I called, so many times. Maybe if you'd have picked up the phone I would have been able to arrange a trip to Boston." I take a quivery breath before continuing. "Also, never fool yourself into thinking that I see myself as better than you. Because I don't."

His eyes flash with anger. "Really? Well, you sure do a good job of acting like it."

"So you think I'm the world's greatest actor, huh?"

He shrugs. "Could be a new talent of yours."

I shake my head at him. "What did this to you? What made you how you are?"

Daniel's jaw tenses and I know I went too far. I hit a sore spot somehow. He stands up quickly, before fishing in his pocket and pulling out a ten-dollar bill. He chucks it onto the table. "That's for my milkshake. I'm leaving now."

I feel a sadness enter me as I watch him walk away. Again.

Lord, I did that all wrong. I don't want him slipping through my fingers this time. Show me how to reach him, please.

The cheery waitress from earlier drops by to plunk my milkshake on the table. I look at it with growing distaste. I doubt it will be enjoyable now.

She sees the expression on my face before I can hide it. "Aw, honey," she coos. "Was it that boy who made you look the way you do now?"

I read her nametag. Betty. "Well...he's just going through a bad time."

"I've got a bit of advice and you can leave or take it." Betty plants her hands on her hips. "Don't give up on anyone when they're going through a bad time. They'll come round in the end."

I smile. "Thanks. I don't plan to."

"Plan what?" Aiden is suddenly there beside her. "Hey, Cleo."

The waitress looks between us, gives me a wink and leaves.

"Hi, Aiden," I greet him. "Seems we keep on running into each other like this."

He grins. "Yeah. But I am really glad to see you. I have something to tell you."

I motion for him to sit in front of Daniel's half-finished milkshake. "What is it?"

He sits down, glancing at the milkshake. "You were with someone?"

"Yeah," is all I say. "What's got you so happy? The suspense is getting to me."

His smile grows bigger. He seems different somehow. I can't quite put my finger on it, but it could be-

"I made the decision," he announces.

I tilt my head to the right. "The decision?"

"Yes," his eyes shine. "Cleo, I'm a Christian."