The Unfortunate Misadventures of Nate and His Crew!

Chapter 1: Fainting Nathan

Brring!

Brring!

Brring!

Ugh, I can't stand mornings to be completely honest! Especially Monday mornings.

I roll over on my stomach to get myself nice and comfortable completely ignoring my annoying alarm clock, but the stupid piece of shit wouldn't shut up so I pick it up and slam it to the ground, causing it to break into pieces.

My parents probably heard that but honestly, who cares?

Anyways, it's time for me to ramble on about how much I hate mornings. First off, I'm just not programmed to like them, I mean come on, I barely take naps during the day, and at night time I'm probably up doing something that involves my ketchup costume, and Tik Tok, and plus--

"What the hell?" I jolt up as the splash of deadly cold water, woke me up. My mind barely had time to register what had just happened.

"Get up asshole!" Satan himself, or as my parents named him, Teddy, hysterically laughs at me.

You'd think that someone with such an innocent name would be just that, but when you meet my brother, you'll never think of a stuffed animal in the same way ever again. It's not the same for me though, I always knew that stuffed animals were evil, but we'll get into that some other time.

"Are y-y-you tr-trying to k-kill me?" My attempt at yelling just left me looking like a total idiot, but I swear to God, my precious saviour, I lost all feeling in my body.

"I'm para-lyzed!" My eyes widen and I don't even want to imagine how I look right now. I'm only wearing boxers for goodness sake! Why would someone do that to another person who is half naked?

"Quit being a pussy and get the fuck up before mom yells at me for not doing my job!" Oh yeah, my mother made the smart decision of making him my personal alarm clock when I clearly, already have one in my bedroom!

I get that I usually ignore it, but that doesnt mean she should send her oldest son, who she knows is not afraid to commit murder, to get me out of bed.

He laughs some more at the sight of me shivering and finally leaves with the bucket in his hand swaying side to side, like some psychopath who had just murdered someone and had the blood all over their god damn sociopathic hands.

"God damn tator tot!" I mutter quietly.

I waddled my way out of the wet bed and, still shivering, I carried the sheets downstairs into the basement to place them in the dryer.

I pass Teddy and my mother eating breakfast in the kitchen.

"Oh baby, what happened?" My mother opens her arms to hug me, and I notice a smirk spread across Teddy's douche-y face.

I dodge my mother's open arms and head back upstairs and into the bathroom that was just across from my room.

I grab my tooth brush and toothpaste and started brushing my teeth.

I hate my life.

The sour taste of mayonnaise causes me to spit in disgust. I quickly rinse my mouth out and all I could say was,