Indefinite Love

Chapter 1

The song at the top is the one that Justin sings.

Prologue (one year and nine months, and one week ago)

"And he won't tell you why?" Charlotte asks.

"Of course he won't." Emma says. "Noah doesn't...he doesn't voice is problems."

"He usually does. I'm not stupid. I know the reason." I mutter, fiddling with my thumbs.

"Well what is it?" Charlotte asks.

I sigh. It's been two and a half years. Apparently, at Charlotte's graduation party, Emma was three months pregnant and had no idea, so she has a two year old son.

And Charlotte? She met a guy in California. Hi name is Christopher. They got engaged after a year, and then they got married six months ago, and she's pregnant.

And today is mothers day, and Charlotte is pregnant and doing college online, having moved back home with Chris, continuing school online.

Justin, Emma and Ben's kid, he keeping giving Emma flowers because it's mother's day.

It's May, and everyone is at the park.

The whole team, all our family, Emma's family, Ben's family, and even the team, more than half of them are married with kids now.

Coach is even here, with his wife and two daughters. They're my age.

"Brecklyn." Emma whispers.

I'm staring at my hands with tears in my eyes. I blink a few times.

"He wants kids. He really wants kids."

I look out to the field where Noah is, playing with Justin and the rest of the teams kids.

"And you don't." Mom says.

She's been rather quiet, sitting next to Emma.

"Right." I sigh. "I just..." I shrug. "I don't know. Maybe. I don't know what I want. I just know that Noah really wants to have kids, and if the wat grows strong enough...he could leave me and find somebody that'll give him kids. I mean, ever since we found out Charlotte was pregnant, be put up all these walls. We haven't had sex in six months. I mean...he's just, just really not..." I shake my head. "I don't know."

I'm twenty six years old.

I watch Noah playing with the kids, and how happy he is.

"You should talk to him." Charlotte frowns.

"He doesn't want to talk to me."

"Bullshit." Emma says. "If I walked over there right now and told him you were crying, he would come over here."

"Old Noah would've come over here." I whisper. "New Noah..." I shut my eyes, tears rolling down my cheeks. "I don't know. I think what really gets him is during games, when um, we're playing home games, and the team, they've got their wives and kids there, holding up signs for their Dad's...he wants that. Only, I'm on the team, so having a kid now is out of the question because I still have another two years until my contract is up."

"You're using that as an excuse." Mom says. "You know coach would let you off if you got pregnant."

She's right.

I sigh.

"I know. What really haunts me is when he doesn't come home some nights. I know he's out at bars...he's probably talking to girls. He would never cheat, but I'm willing to bet he's talking to girls."