Karan Seraph's guide on how to give and receive constructive criticism based on her experience as a writer, artist, teacher, and Wattpadder.
Learn polite and effective techniques for giving constructive criticism.
Learn how to graciously accept co...
Think back to a time when you felt you were being accused or insulted. Think of the tone of voice, the gestures, and the language that prompted you to feel someone was being accusatory or insulting towards you. Did they wave or point a finger at you? Did they question what you had done or something you had failed to do? Did they call you names or use diminutive terms instead of your name? How did you feel about how they treated you?
Many of us have experiences like that. When we have negative experiences like that, it forms an association with the tone, gestures, and language used. In written communication, the vocal tone and gestures are gone; there is just the language. So, when we use the word "you" in writing (as I did about ten times in that first paragraph), especially when writing with a purpose to critically evaluate, the reader may associate the message with a negative experience.
Once a reader associates a message with negative experiences in which they felt insulted or accused they may perceive any critical parts of the message as an attack. Even if the message is not intended as a personal attack, it can feel like a personal attack.
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[Image is by Pixabay user Gerd Altmann used under CC0 license.]
This is a vital lesson: words are not always received how we intend them. Even when using the same language, two people can understand the words to mean different things. This does not mean that one person is wrong or the other right. It only indicates that we all have our own associations with words based on our experience with the language. This disparity between what may be intended and what is received, means we to be precise and considerate in order to communicate effectively.
One way of showing consideration is to use language that keeps focus on one's work rather than on their person. There are many ways to do this (some of which will be discussed in future chapters) but one of the easiest and most effective is simply to avoid using "you". By avoiding "you" we negate the perception that statements are accusatory and single-out the recipient as wrong.
This is the first of my guidelines for giving and receiving constructive criticism on Wattpad:
The word "you" is for giving thanks not criticism.
Let's look at some example critical statements to see which would be most well received:
1) "Bitch, do you even POV?!"
2) "Your POV is all over the place. You obviously don't understand third person point-of-view."
3) "You need to work on your POV. In several places you broke POV."
4) "Your POV needs some work. You are 'head-hopping'. If it's Smith's POV, we shouldn't also know what Jones thinks."
5) "There are some ways you can improve the POV in this chapter. I think you are doing something called 'head-hopping'. Most of your chapter appears to be in the POV of Smith, but a few times it seems like we know how Jones is feeling, as opposed to what Smith can observe."
6) "There are some ways the POV can be improved. I think, some 'head-hopping' is occurring in this chapter. [inserts link to article on head-hopping.] Most this chapter appears to be in the POV of Smith, but the sentence 'Jones searches desperately for an exit' may be beyond what Smith can observe or conclude."
Which examples you you think would be best received? Which would you prefer to receive, if you asked for a critique on your work?
In those examples, I not only reduced use of "you", but I used increasingly specific and objective language. Future chapters will cover use of specific and objective language.
There are times when we want to convey that a message is intended as personal.In that case, "you" would be appropriate. For example, when giving thanks to another person, we want them to know they are being singled-out for this positive message.
Let's look at some positive uses of "you":
a) "Thanks for reading."
b) "Thanks for your feedback."
c) "Thank you so much for that thorough critique."
d) "Thank you for your consideration and for hiring my critique service."
e) "Thank you. I appreciate you spending your time to read and comment."
f) "Thank you for writing Jones. Seeing someone like me represented in fiction means a lot. I'm glad Jones escaped without needing another person to come to the rescue."
Exercise 1:
Leave a comment with an examples of more effective and less effective critical statements.
Extra Credit:
Leave a comment with an example of a positive use of "you".
