Love Bites

LOVE BITES Chapter 13 : Tasting Red Part 1

However, there was a piece in the wall only in front of Alastair that meant I didn't have to climb. I felt it could be broken through, finally allowing an escape route that let me on the outside. It all depended on how hard I was willing to try. I thought one day, I'd finally be able to hold Alastair. One day, I'd finally be able to understand what were behind those beautifully sad eyes of his.

But who was I kidding? I could never reach him.

And when he leaves, he'll be even further away.

He never realised, did he? What I felt towards him? Well, I guess it all worked out in his favour then. If making me feel special was never part of his intention and more an illusion I had created for myself then what Alastair really thought of me this whole time was that I was just some silly little girl he could finally get away from without feeling indebted to our parents.

My jaw ticked. How dare he make me feel this guilty. I never asked you to stick by my side when Mom and Dad died! Without so much as a blink, I fisted my hand and brought it down hard on the top of the bathtub. Not even the loud thud broke through the pent up anger I felt in that moment.

"You could have left then, put me in an orphanage and severed all ties between us. At least then, all I would have felt was the hatred towards a brother who left me to defend on my own and never the care and affection I feel now!"

Hearing my own voice which at the end of that rant seemed to grow louder and echo around the bathroom made my eyes shoot open.

Crap. I didn't mean to say that allowed. Alastair was downstairs; he didn't hear me... did he?

Groaning with embarrassment now, I lolled my head back over the edge of the bathtub.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid..." the words left my mouth hanging on the end of a whisper. "This whole situation is stupid."

If Alastair really had given away guardianship, things would have been so much simpler. I wouldn't have realised the love I felt for my brother that exceeded the boundary of sibling love.

I laid still for a moment staring up at the white ceiling. I could hear the soft hum of the vent that blew cool air into the room and smell the fruity conditioner I had washed my hair with earlier.

Life would have been simpler but also... empty if Alastair wasn't with me. Which he won't be once he leaves.

The water settled completely around me. It was so still that it looked like I was laying in an empty bathtub.

I don't want him to leave.

Then something unusual caught my eye. I sat up, blue eyes following the red substance sliding down the inside of the bathtub. I lifted my hand, the one I had smacked earlier against the side of the bathtub, and saw a droplet of blood fall from it. It landed on the smooth white glaze of the tub, trailing down into the water that cradled my body. It was then that I became aware of the tingling pain in my hand.

My fist weakened, fingers uncurling from their grip. Immediately, my eyes found the finger I had cut earlier gaping and oozing with fresh blood. The band-aid had fallen off, sitting on the floor of the bathroom. With grounded teeth, I quickly seized my stinging finger and squeezed the base of it as a way to stop the stinging. More blood poured out.

It ran down my knuckles and fell into the water, droplet after droplet, red streams dispersing like smoke coming off a slow burning fire. I watched it, the sight somehow arresting my attention.

There was something about the blood...

A darkness suddenly swarmed my vision, flooding it until I couldn't see anything else.