Black flies (SOA Fanfic)

When it all fell apart.

Emma's P.O.V.
Clay walked through the door and grabbed me, throwing me against the wall. "Emma. You bitch. When did you plan on telling the family the news?" He smirked at me knowing this was killing Jax.
"I-I-I Was going to a-as soon as I g-got the ch-chance." I was trying to catch a breath through the tight hold he had on my neck.
I saw black dots creep in to my vision. 'Please don't let me die. Abel and Brin need me. Max can't deal with two kids alone.'
I felt his large hand release the grip around my fragile neck. Getting my vision back I saw Jax on top of Clay repeatedly hitting him. "Jax stop, Jackson! Stop" My words we like the oxygen he breathes. Tig and Opie pulled him off Clay. Bloody and unease Clay got up reaching inside his cut to his holster. Pulling out his hand gun he fired shots towards Abels room.
"Clay no! Don't do that Abels in there" I heard one of the prospects slip out.
Tig jumped and grabbed the gun from his hands, walking out the door with Clay. I ran to Abels room to find him crying and bleeding. I looked at his body and found no wounds but looked below my feet and saw Jax. Dead. I put Abel down and dropped to me knees "Help!" "Someone please come help me!" I screamed. "What's wrong Em?" Juice came running. He reached the the room and his jaw dropped. He took out his prepaid and called 911. A few seconds later he came back and said help was on there way. "Wait, Clay didn't hit anything. Or anyone." Juice said. "To think hard about it, I don't even think he fired" I could tell my face was pale. And I was deeply confused. I looked down inspecting the body I held in my hands. His gun is in his hands and the bullet went in his chest. "Juice, he did this to himself. He shots himself in front of our son! Juice he fucking shot himself in the precious innocent eyes of my son!"
"Emma, calm down all will be okay. Helps on the way." His voice was soothing.
"Chibby will you come get the little fella for me please?" Juice yelled.
"Juice, what if when they get here it's too late?" I felt like a child asking where my dead fish goes.
"Emma, he shot himself in the chest. He isn't coming back." He spaced his words. Acting as if it would hurt me more. In which it did. But that's all I needed to hear.
"Juice I can't loose him. I already lost him once. I can't loose him again I'd be a single parent again and that's hard. I can't do this again alone juice!" I heard law enforcement racing to their designation, my house. Within seconds the door was opened and they came in with a stretcher. They did CPR for about twenty minutes and then they decided there was no saving him. Picking his lifeless body off my lap and onto the stretcher hurt my eyes beyond words can describe. I watched as they laid the sheet over his head. "I will always love you Jackson. I never stopped, and don't plan to ever stop." Juice held me in his arms. I have always liked Juice more than a friend. But I knew I loved Jax more than I could have loved juice. "Juice, I'm taking Brinliea and Abel to get some late night ice cream okay?"
He nodded his head and left. "Juice. I can't do this. Will you stay with me. Help me?"
"Emma. Of course I can. But before I do that I need to tell you I have a baby girl. Her name is Emma, after you. I know this isn't a good time. But I need to confess my feelings for you. I loved you since the moment Jax walked in with you hanging over his shoulder. I can understand you're not ready, hell you just lost him two hours ago. But I need you to know this" I just laid in his arms, drifting between breathes. I loved him..