Notes To Daddy

3: going through the motions

"You're going to miss the bus Sarah!" My mom yells.

I grab a pop tart and stuff it in my backpack. I never get to eat breakfast at home. I race out the door with a quick 'love you' and jog to the bus that was waiting for me. The instant I get on, I miss home. Kids screaming and laughing make my head hurt and it just becomes a mess once I get to school. No wonder I have bad grades for almost everything, because my head hurts from all of the noise.

Zoe saved a seat for me and I happily take it. Zoe is my best friend since birth. We are practically sisters. She sticks up for me when I can't and I do the same for her.

I groan, knowing the pain will start in just a few minutes. I really need a daith piercing. I feel a paper airplane hit the back of my head and i snap around to see Dylan. He's the most popular guy in school. For four graders, he's as popular as it gets. He smirks at me and I glare at him.

Yeah, I'm what you call a geek. Everyone picks on me and Zoe because we were the only students to make A+'s in math. If you want my opinion, I think everyone in that school is stupid. And the stupidest student is none other than the most popular girl in school, Jess. She's so stupid her mom pays the teachers to give her a good grade so she won't fail.

I rummage through my backpack and pull out the pop tarts and try to hide them as I stuff my face. Once I'm done, we were really close to school and my head was pounding. I dig into my backpack again and pull out my Daddy's camo cap. It still has his smell so I breathe it in. I miss you Daddy.

Everyone floods out of the school bus and as I'm about to step off, a feel a pair of hands shove me to the ground. The concrete wasn't welcoming as I went face first into it. I roll a couple of times until I come to a stop. I feel blood drip down my chin and my short temper just got shorter. I jump up to see Jess with her perfect, blonde hair and full, pink lips. She laughs and begins to walk past me.

"Clumsy much? must've gotten it from your Dad. If you aren't too careful, you'll end up just like him. Dead." She laughs.

That's it.

I grab a handful of her hair and jerk her to the ground. She lets out a high pitched scream and I jump on top of her throwing punches at her perfect face. She tries to block my merciless throws but I easily it around them. By now, a crowd has started to form and even the bus driver watched, not in horror but in amusement. I'm finally ripped off of her and held back by our principle, Jefferson Adams. I struggle to get free but it was useless. I need to make her feel what I feel! She hasn't got enough!

"Thats enough! That's enough!" He yells.

I wipe my bloodied chin and nod. Jess stumbles up and straighten her skirt.

"What happened here?!"

I stay silent, to angry to speak. But Jess was not, she explained everything to him.

"I saw her fall and I tried to help but she turned on me. She said I knocked her over but I didn't. I would never push anyone." She says innocently.

I try to claw at her face but I'm held back by mr. Adams.

"Your coming with me Sarah." He says sternly.

He drags me to his office and I flop down in a seat. He calls my mom and in less than five minutes, she came bursting through the door.

"Sarah! What has gotten into you?!" She yells

I roll my eyes in annoyance because she didn't even ask for my side of the story. She glares at me and I look away.

"I'm so sorry mr. Adams! She's never done anything like this before." My mom rushes out.

Mr. Adams nods and looks to me.

"I'm aware of that. But she did do it." He says.

"And believe me, she will be punished when we get home." My mom says.

"I hope so. What she did would normally mean suspension but since she's never done anything like this before and I don't completely trust Jess, I'll let detention for a month be the punishment." He's now looking at me mom.

"Thank you so much mr. Adams. And I promise this will never happen again." My mom lets out a breath and relaxes a bit.

"You can call my Jeff." He says with a smile.

My mom blushes and looks at the ground. This is disgusting! It became silent and I was determined to break it because I want to break their lustful eye contact. I clear my throat and stand up.

"So can I go now?" I ask.

He nods and stands as well. I rush out the door only to find my mom hadn't followed. I roll my eyes and begin to walk back in but am stopped by the conversation that's going on.

"Your wife is a very lucky woman mr-I mean Jeff."

"I'm not married. I'm single, well as the kids say, I'm a single Pringle."

They both laugh and I shiver in disgust. Did the seriously just say that? He keeps flirting with her until I had enough and burst through the door.

"Mom! Let's go." I say.

She looks at him once again and blushes. She grabs my arm and leads me to the parking lot. We drive home in silence then once in the driveway, I jump out and go inside. My mom doesn't try to follow so I go to my room and grab my journal.

Hey Daddy, today has been rough. I was thrown to the ground by none other than Jess. I did as you told me and just tried to walk it off but then she said some really mean things. She said that I was clumsy and that I got it from you and that if I wasn't too careful, I'd end up just like you. Daddy, I'm so sorry. I lost my temper and I began punching her and I didn't stop. I know I shouldn't have hit her but I couldn't let her get away with what she said about you. Then she told mr. Adams about it and he called mom. He luckily only gave me detention for a month but just when I thought everything was looking up, it all came crashing down! Mom and mr. Adams were flirting! I wanted to scream at them and tell mr. Adams that mom belongs to you and only you! But I held my tongue. Daddy, I wish you were there to put him in his place. I wish you were there to be in my side. I miss you so much.

I love you and no one can ever replace you, Sarah

I rip out the paper and fold it up. Tears leak down my face and I sneak out of the house, grab my bike and go to the graveyard. I find the grave with the red roses on it and kneel down beside of it.

"Hey Daddy. I got your note for the day." I wipe my wet eyes and continue.

"Daddy. I don't know how much longer our family can hold together. We're ripping apart and I can't mend it. Mom never comes to see you and Colton is the only thing she helps with. I want you to be here Daddy. I want you to call me princess again! I want you to tuck me in and sing me your lullaby! I want a note to be on my door knob, telling me that you'll be home soon and that you love me!" I sob and try to regain my control.

"I tell you I love you every day and I never get an 'I love you' in return. I-"

I breathe in but the sobs keep coming.

"I n-never go-ot to s-say goodbye! I never got t-to say g-goodb-bye!" I yell.

I cover my red face with my hands and sob until I can't anymore. I realize that it's getting dark so I reluctantly get up and ride my bike back home. I tip-toe back to my room and jump into my bed.

Please God, please let me dream of Daddy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ok guys, I know it's sad but it won't stay like this forever. So please keep reading.

fun question: are you a Daddy's or Mama's girl/boy? And why?