Oblivion

'Partner'

A few weeks pass and Joe is still asleep, it hasn't been getting easier for any of us. The other boys make an appearance here and there but to be honest, I haven't left Joe's side, not for more than required. Conor brings me clean clothes whenever he visits and the hospital gave me a toothbrush but I haven't done more than a quick scrub down shower wise. I wish I could do more, talk more, anything just to hear him crack a joke or pull a prank on us. The doctors keep telling me and Caspar that Joe will be fine but it's hard for me to believe, I have only seen him move once and all it was was a twitch of the finger. Excitement overtook me and then I immediately broke down when nothing came of it. I keep telling myself "at least he's alive" and "it could be worse" but I'm starting to give up on that, I can't imagine anything worse than this, than him in the hospital weak with bandages and wires from head to toe.

Then there's the Clarissa situation, I haven't spoken to her since we fought, sure she's crossed my mind but I haven't done anything about it. She has texted me, called a few times as well, but I never even looked at it. As far as I'm concerned the relationship is done. I can't find it in me to care.

In a weird way, being at the hospital with Joe in his current situation has helped me realize that I don't need Clarissa in my life, I care about Joe and being here with him is more important to me than her, or anything and anyone for that matter. I don't need anyone else. 

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I awoke to a slight movement in my hand and instantly I dart up and look to Joe's face. His eyes slowly open and my heart soars and I pull the alarm as Joe starts speaking but it's terrifying.

"Hello?" He ripped his hand from mine and looks around the room, eyes not locking on a single thing. 

"Joe, you're alright. I'm glad you're awake, how are-" I was cut off by Joe looking in my general direction and his face paled more, if that was even possible.

"I can't see you. I can't see anything." The panic was evident in his blue eyes and I held his hand again as doctors and nurses rushed in. 

"He's awake, he can't see anything. I don't know what to do." The doctor gave me a nod and directed his attention to Joe.

"Joe? I'm Doctor Minervini, it's been brought to my attention that you can't see? Can you describe that to me?" Nurses were making busy work of checking Joe's vitals while the doctor listened to Joe. "Jack, can I have a moment with Joe please? I'll bring you back as soon as we are done speaking. Please go eat something, son." An american accent lined his voice and I did as told giving Joe's hand a final squeeze as gently as I could before leaving the room.

"I'll be back, I promise ok?" He nodded and I was off to the cafeteria finally feeling the huger hit me. I tried to leave his room as less frequently as I could, unfortunately when the boys came I had to venture off to give them time alone. I don't get why I feel the need to be there the entire time, not even Caspar is. I mean I get that he almost died, but really? I need to reassess myself.

Picking up my phone, I dialed Caspar's number hoping I wouldn't wake him up, he really needed to sleep. After ringing many times, it went to his voicemail so I had to explain everything on there. I knew once he got the message he would be over right away so I basked in as much alone time as I could get right now. 

I've decided on a full stomach that once Caspar was here and Joe was calm I'd go home and have a much needed shower. 

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The doctor sent me back in to see Joe and I was beyond happy. I was taken back at first due to Joe's head and eyes being wrapped but I quickly got over it and met him at his side. "Hey, how you feeling."

"Blind." I dropped my head to our clasped hands holding back from breaking down again, I didn't want him to hear that right now.

"I know, I know. I'm so sorry Joe, I wish I could do something more to help you but I can't bring it back for you as much as I wish I could. I'm sorry." I was silently crying at this point, today has been such a roller coaster and it seems unwilling to end. He gives my hand a tug and I'm confused until he repeats his previous actions with a little more force this time. I carefully climb beside him on the bed and lay my head on his chest all while keeping his hand in mine. He starts shaking with sobs and I hold him a little tighter, still afraid of hurting him. 

"What do I do?" Joe asks, his voice is so heartbreaking and it kills me that I don't have the answer to that. " I don't even remember all of what happened, it was such a blur. All I remember is a car coming at me and me waking up here. I am glad to know you're here Jack, the doctor told me that you haven't left here since and I'm really glad Jack. But I have to ask, where's Caspar? Did he not want to deal with this? I wouldn't blame him." He was rambling nonsense at this point and I needed to stop him before he got too far into his own head. 

"Joe, Caspar is just asleep right now, he's been here as often as possible, it's hard for him to balance the movie and visits, but he's managing and once he gets my message I'm sure he will rush over in his pajamas just to see you awake." I answer. "We will figure this out mate, we always have, haven't we?" He nods and sighs, his tears thinning out and I feel better knowing I calmed him down just a little more.

"Yeah," Joe finally speaks up. "you know the doctor called you my partner?" He says it in the funniest of tones and I couldn't help but chuckle a little at that. 

"Wouldn't be the first person. We have been extremely close since Uni. I'm not surprised, plus I kind of haven't left your side for longer than required." I nervously laugh at the confession and suddenly it gets weirder for me than any of the other times people have confused us for a couple.

"Don't know what I did right to deserve it."