Nothing Can Change This Love

In Case

I've been back from tour for a month and everything between Wilmer and I is getting worse. We fight for everything, who's turn it is to clean, who's cooking dinner, but mostly we fight over his need to have so many "girl" friends. He seems to have more girls as friends than guys and I can't take it anymore.

There's always a girl texting him, inviting him to dinner, mostly they invite me too, but I hate it. It makes me wonder what he does when I'm gone and I just go into this rage full of jealousy that gets me nowhere because he just walks away, like now. I came home, irritated because of crap my label had me doing, and I find him hanging out, playing playstation 3, like if there's no dishes to be washed, like his fucking dirty jacket isn't in the middle of our bedroom floor. So I yelled at him. Told him to pick his shit up or I would throw it away. Instead of doing what I demanded, he grabbed his keys and walked out. I know he did it because he doesn't like to fight. He hates all the yelling, he would rather talk things out, but with my temper that rarely happens. So now I'm cleaning our bedroom while he "cools off" somewhere, probably with one of his fucking whores. I know that I'm overreacting, I just haven't been feeling very good about myself, so I've been getting jealous for things that would normally not get to me.

If I wasn't so aware about the extra ten pounds I gained, or that I've gone up a size, I wouldn't be reacting this way. I know that I should tell him how I'm feeling but I'm so tired of being weak, so tired of being so dam insecure, that I keep it all to myself. I hear the door open but I don't leave the room, screw that he needs to apologize for not being a decent human being and picking up his mess.

"I can't do this anymore Demi" I look up at the sound of his voice and almost wince, he looks so tired and defeated and I know then what's coming and it just pisses me off.

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore Wilmer? You can't clean up after yourself? Or you can't keep it in your fucking pants? Or maybe you can't stop talking to other women. What can't you do anymore!?

"I can't do this, you and me. Everything I do is wrong to you. I can't put my jacket in the laundry so you threaten to throw it away. Friends text me and you freak out. I just can't keep fighting over everything. When did you stop trusting me?

"Are you fucking kidding me Wilmer, after all this you want to leave over a jacket? And its girls texting you, not guy friends, that's a different thing."

"Look love is not supposed to be this hard, and I don't want to hurt you anymore, I love you Demi, but sometimes my love for you isn't enough to put up with all of your insecurities beautiful. Call me when you're ready, I'll be waiting."

"Well you'll be waiting forever because I'll never call you if you walk out that door Wilmer!"

"That's your choice, bye Hermosa te amo." He kisses my forehead and just walks away, only pausing to throw his jacket in the trash, like what we have doesn't matter, like our love was not a rare miracle.

How could I let things get this bad? Lately everything he did got on my nerves and I snapped. I knew I was being a bitch to him but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. I have managed to push away the only man that has ever truly understood me, the only man that has seen my dark side and didn't run screaming in the other direction.

~~~~~~~~~~

2 months later...

He didn't come back, de didn't call, and he just stayed away. I thought for sure he would have changed his mind and eventually found his way home. Now I sit here on his favorite chair, wearing that stupid dirty jacket he threw away and I realize that I was so sure he would come crawling back, so sure that he wouldn't find a better love than the one we had, that I didn't even try to get him back. And now there's pictures of him and Minka Kelly everywhere and I know that's his way of saying that he's done waiting. If he wasn't ready to move on from me he wouldn't of allowed the paparazzi to get any pictures of them, believe me with us they never did, but with her, he let it happen, it's a message to me; its too late for us. All I have left of us is pictures and his stupid dirty jacket; I'd give anything to have him in my arms once again instead.

In case

Pictures in my pocket, all faded from the washer, I can barely just make out your face.

Food you saved for later, in my refrigerator, it's been too long since later never came.

I know, one day eventually, yeah I know; one day I'll have to let it all go. But I keep it just in case; yeah I keep it just in case, in case you don't find what

You're looking for. In case, you're missing what you had before. In case

You change your mind, ill be waiting here in case you just want to come home.

Strong enough to leave you, but weak enough to need you, cared enough to

Let you walk away.

I took that dirty jacket, from the trash right where you left it, cause I

Couldn't stand to see it go to waste, and I know, one day eventually, yeah I

Know, one day ill have to let it all go. But I keep it just in case, yeah I

Keep it just in case. In case, you don't find what you're looking, in case,

You're missing what you had before, in case you change your mind, ill be

Waiting here, in case, you just want to come home, in case you're looking

In that mirror one day and miss my arms, how they wrapped around you're

Waist and I say that you can love me again even if it isn't the case,

ohhh you don't find what you're looking for ohhhohohh, you're missing my

Love, you don't find you're looking for, in case you're missing what you had

Before in case you change your mind I'll be waiting, in case you just want

To come home, in case.