The Mafia Man

Perfume and Jitters

I thought about him all night.

The only men I'd ever known were my brothers, father, uncles, priest, cousins, and gang members. No one had ever dared make a move on me, and I was declared off-limits for courting till I was at least eighteen. I still had a year to go!

My father and brothers would not be happy when they heard of Mr. Romano's proposition of courtship, but I felt it was more of a demand than a request.

Oh! And he mentioned debt! I had absolutely no idea that our gang was on thin ice, but as it is nobody would tell me. I pouted at the thought of Charlotte hiding these things from me, though it was probably for the best.

I've struggled with some severe anxiety for a few years now, but I've been so sheltered that it's gone down lately. I used to worry profusely about my family, hence no one telling me anything anymore. In the past I've had panic attacks, but my brothers take good care of me. They think I'm fragile health wise, which is slightly true, but I've grown stronger.

Until the age of sixteen I was very frail from lack of nutrition. I would pretend to eat when actually I was too nervous to do so. I was anxious about everything: the state of my family, our house, Charlotte, spiders, my kitten, and everything in between. I've never been the same since my mother passed away six years ago, when I was still in regular school.

My father pulled me out and paid extra attention to me, nurturing me and educating me with the finest tutors.

When he realized that I had lost a significant amount of weight, he called the doctor in immediately. I was said to be overly anxious, but the doctor said it was due to grief. Any other explanation, such as a mental disorder, would bring on the greatest scandal if anyone would be to discover it! My father monitors how much food I eat and keeps a closer eye than usual on me. It's a miracle he didn't discover me when I snuck out!

Now I spend my free time lost in books, and I've actually begun to bake. Niamh is teaching me her famous cake recipes, so I've filled out quite nicely. I'm still thin, but not grotesquely so, as I now have some curves and an ample bosom.

Charlotte used to pick on me for my small stature, but now she says she envies me as she is quite lanky. She says she'd rather be five feet like me than five and eight inches, but I think she is beautiful all the same.

When I was awakened by the rising sun the next morning, I was jolted my the thought of reuniting with Mr. Romano. Would he try to kiss me again? Would he grab my hand again?

I tried to dismiss the unholy thoughts of his strong arms embracing me, but I was entranced by his gray eyes and broad frame.

I took extra care picking out my clothes for the day as I awaited Charlotte's aid. My outfit included a pale pink tea dress that partially exposed my neck, collarbone, and shoulders with white kitten heels and my mother's locket. When Charlotte arrived, she brushed back my long locks and pinned a piece from each side to the back of my head. She pinched my cheeks to add color and spritzed me with perfume, before ushering me down stairs to greet our special guests.