Finding Shiloh: a novel

Chasing Shiloh: Part Ten

Lillian leads us into the house. "This is the front room," she gestures. "People were kind of everywhere all night. But most people were in the kitchen and this room, right here." She points to the room to our left. Aside from a faded blue couch, two black armchairs, and a coffee table, the room is almost empty. Two windows with broken blinds stream light into the room, casting striped patterns across the beige carpet.

"This is where we first met up," Colton says, gesturing towards a section of the floor by the front corner of the room. "I was right there by the couch, and she came in the door right here and pretty much found me right away. It was like ten-thirty, maybe a little bit after."

I nod, taking in the empty house. Shiloh had been here when it was full of people and noise. Had she been nervous walking in? Had she sat in her car for a few minutes and tried to figure out what to say to Colton for the first time, or had she just jumped into it like I knew she probably had?

A wave of sadness hits me. Throughout the last few days, I'd been turning the same few thoughts over and over in my head. Something happened to Shiloh, I need to find her, and I'll be able to do it because I'm the only one who understands her. But here I am, struggling to put the pieces together. And I don't want to think about some of the things that were starting to surface in my head, like water starting to boil.

There were parts of Shiloh's life that you didn't know.

Everything inside me feels heavy. Because I think I've known for a while that Colton and Lillian and I were all on equal ground, but I didn't want to believe it. None of us were in any better position to find Shiloh than the others. And that thought is enough to destroy me, but I haven't let it yet.

I have to find her. I need to find her.

"Did you stay here the whole time?" I ask, pulling myself out of the downward spiral I'm in. I don't realize I'm addressing Colton until I realize I'm looking at him.

He's looking around with this unresponsive glaze over his face.

Is Colton feeling right now?

And then something new pops into my head

This has to be hard for him too.

It takes me a second to understand where that thought came from. But his face tells me everything I need to know. Aside from the first few seconds in the sandwich shop, this is the first time I've seen Colton look like he was feeling. Or trying not to feel.

He doesn't answer me. But for whatever reason, I'm okay with that.

"I was upstairs for most of the party with Justin and some of our other friends," Lillian breaks the silence, pointing towards the rickety looking staircase across the room from us. "I came downstairs at like midnight to get more drinks, and Shiloh was in the kitchen where the kegs were. She was in line to get jungle juice. I got in line behind her and we started talking. I made a comment about how she was smart to wear closed-toed shoes, because my flip flops were making my feet all sticky."

"So she was still here at midnight," I reply, looking around. My eyes fall on Colton again. He's staring at the couch. "Where were you at midnight?"

"Right there," he points at the couch without looking at me. "With Ben and Liza. They were arguing about something. I was waiting for Shiloh to come back. She did for awhile. Then she left again. And I never saw her after that."

"She came upstairs at one point, I think." Lillian replies. "You know what, I bet she was trying to avoid Chris Bleeker. He was here too."

Colton runs his fingers through his hair again and mutters something under his breath.